Name: P. V. (proxy)
Issue: Foot Pain (4 Hd's)
7/9,12/09-Hd5?-L4.3-1G
Visual: An astronaut is floating down in a parachute and lands (on the moon) and walks along in full moon gear and armor.
Meaning: The universe is a hostile place, you can survive it, but you must suit up in protective gear. You may at times even have to trudge the desolate moonscapes of life alone. Keep going.
Feelings: Sorrow, aloneness
Intent: Survival, protection
New Visual: A kayaker is floating down stream and comes to a waterfall. She sails over it gracefully and plunges into the water, popping up moments later unscathed.
Meaning: There are challenges in life, but these are easily maneuverable. Enjoy the journey and meet the challenges with grace. You are not alone, but a small part of a flowing universe.
Transform? One condition. That you love me (you, Ryan, love me, kayaker). Ryan: And if I say no you are going to continue to be miserable? Yes. Why would you do that? Why would you sabotage yourself because of my actions? Because I love you and when that love isn't reciprocated it hurts me. Why would I not reciprocate love? Do you think I'm inherently cruel? No. Then why not? I don't know. Well if it's not because I'm cruel, it must be because I don't understand, right? Maybe . . . What else could it be? I don't know. Well I don't either. Do you think there is a reason? Yes. We've named two, can you name a third? No. Is it possible that there is no third? Yes. If it was merely due to a misunderstanding, would you be sorry and sad? No. So then you really are sorry and sad for a reason that you are not even sure exists? Yes. Do you want to continue living that way? No . . . So then, will you transform whether I love you or not? Yes.
Result: Became diver with space suit, then a teddy bear who got suited in a wet suit and kayak and became P's guide on the river and went down waterfall first. Took some time for P to develop confidence, but eventually P became very confident in rapids. (15 min)
Q5: Swish it up!
Note: Pretty much all the trackings thus far have been strait forward, but this one still has me guessing. Since we didn't complete several, this could be a revisit on them, or it could be a new one that didn't make it into the initial count. At any rate, I didn't want to do all the work, so I had P. do one, but I wanted this as a backup in case nothing came up for her. Something did, but we never transformed it, so I went back and transformed this one. Is it the same? I don't know, but the following does have some striking similarities. I never told her about the above either, so what follows is completely original . . .
Name: P. V.
Issue: Foot pain (4 Hd's)
7/11/09-Hd5?-L4.4-1G
Visual: A red blog that radiates – a breaking heart, splintering and shattering
Why? Loosing something of value
Intent: wholeness, completeness, love
New Visual: A rose, same color (red) gives out sweetest fragrance when crushed. Sees again, only this time not crushed.
Transform? I think so . . .
A lengthy conversation ensued about how you know, who and what the holodyne is and whether it is us, and the difference between the conscious and subconscious and the role of the will.
INCOMPLETE
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Update: Brainwave Restructuring
July 12
While I've noticed every tracking I do shift the level of consciousness and thinking I have dramatically at the time, and then fade into a kind of general undertone, I'm now starting to notice a collective affect of all these transformations. My thoughts are becoming very coherent and are starting to resonate. It's really pretty wild. It's like I had this multitude of thoughts going off all at once and since many of them were saying different things (largely subconsciously), there was both a chaos and a canceling affect. Now I sense these waves are all coming together to create one intense coherent pattern. I'm in the middle of Lynne McTaggart's book “The Intention Experiment” (highly recommended) and it talks about this very thing and all the scientific research that has been done on brain wave patterns among those who meditate and how they are much more uniform and coherent (Chapter 5). I believe I'm getting the same affect of years of meditation with much less effort. Rather then focusing on and empowering a mature holodyne over many decades to overcome the immature ones, I am simply transforming the immature ones to resonate with the mature ones!
While I've noticed every tracking I do shift the level of consciousness and thinking I have dramatically at the time, and then fade into a kind of general undertone, I'm now starting to notice a collective affect of all these transformations. My thoughts are becoming very coherent and are starting to resonate. It's really pretty wild. It's like I had this multitude of thoughts going off all at once and since many of them were saying different things (largely subconsciously), there was both a chaos and a canceling affect. Now I sense these waves are all coming together to create one intense coherent pattern. I'm in the middle of Lynne McTaggart's book “The Intention Experiment” (highly recommended) and it talks about this very thing and all the scientific research that has been done on brain wave patterns among those who meditate and how they are much more uniform and coherent (Chapter 5). I believe I'm getting the same affect of years of meditation with much less effort. Rather then focusing on and empowering a mature holodyne over many decades to overcome the immature ones, I am simply transforming the immature ones to resonate with the mature ones!
Blood - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A squirrel scampers around, then pauses, looking for possible predators, then scampers again and pauses.
Meaning: Life has threats – keep a careful eye out for them.
Feelings: Underlying fear
New: A parachute floats gracefully down from the sky.
Meaning: You may be surrounded by apparent dangers, but trust the parachute – the real life odds of a parachute ever failing are minuscule – the odds of God failing are zero. Your fears will never come to pass – let them go.
Transform;? Yes
Results: Already transformed
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I have fears you remind me to trust. Yes.
Q2: Old Situations? Meaning? Any fear that pops up you will help me release . . . Yes. One with? Meaning? I will automatically have no fears. Yes.
Q3: Yes. Help everyday? Meaning? I have zero fear. Yes.
Q4: Physically? Meaning? Since I have no fears I can have joy – will you give me joy? Yes! Relationship with others? How would that look? I let go of fears in terms of outcomes and simply trust that I cannot be harmed. Wow, the phrase is worth repeating: I cannot be harmed! Yes. Community? Look like? You remind me that even a whole community cannot harm me. (I like it!). Yes. Universally? Yes.
Q5: Trust
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A squirrel scampers around, then pauses, looking for possible predators, then scampers again and pauses.
Meaning: Life has threats – keep a careful eye out for them.
Feelings: Underlying fear
New: A parachute floats gracefully down from the sky.
Meaning: You may be surrounded by apparent dangers, but trust the parachute – the real life odds of a parachute ever failing are minuscule – the odds of God failing are zero. Your fears will never come to pass – let them go.
Transform;? Yes
Results: Already transformed
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I have fears you remind me to trust. Yes.
Q2: Old Situations? Meaning? Any fear that pops up you will help me release . . . Yes. One with? Meaning? I will automatically have no fears. Yes.
Q3: Yes. Help everyday? Meaning? I have zero fear. Yes.
Q4: Physically? Meaning? Since I have no fears I can have joy – will you give me joy? Yes! Relationship with others? How would that look? I let go of fears in terms of outcomes and simply trust that I cannot be harmed. Wow, the phrase is worth repeating: I cannot be harmed! Yes. Community? Look like? You remind me that even a whole community cannot harm me. (I like it!). Yes. Universally? Yes.
Q5: Trust
Nails / Protection - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Nails / Protection(5 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd3-L2.4-1G
Visual: A giant shark swims around; after several passes, it turns abruptly straight toward me and CHOMP, it's over.
Feelings: Generally feel safe around the shark but recognize possible danger – when the worst comes true, it's a surprise.
Intent: Safety, peace, fearlessness, excitement
New: A young chick is out pecking the ground for bugs, but stays close to mother and the rest – it recognizes its vulnerability and so stays in a safe range.
Meaning: Recognize your vulnerable weaknesses and invite protection to compensate. Don't presumptuously assume that you are unharmable. Ego is the #1 killer. Sharks don't care if you're a genius and hawks don't care if a baby chick is cute.
Transform? Yes
Result: Willing, but there is an immense amount of ego blocking the transformation. Transformed (5 min).
Q1-4: Yes
Q5: Be a chick!
Total Time: 29 Minutes
Issue: Nails / Protection(5 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd3-L2.4-1G
Visual: A giant shark swims around; after several passes, it turns abruptly straight toward me and CHOMP, it's over.
Feelings: Generally feel safe around the shark but recognize possible danger – when the worst comes true, it's a surprise.
Intent: Safety, peace, fearlessness, excitement
New: A young chick is out pecking the ground for bugs, but stays close to mother and the rest – it recognizes its vulnerability and so stays in a safe range.
Meaning: Recognize your vulnerable weaknesses and invite protection to compensate. Don't presumptuously assume that you are unharmable. Ego is the #1 killer. Sharks don't care if you're a genius and hawks don't care if a baby chick is cute.
Transform? Yes
Result: Willing, but there is an immense amount of ego blocking the transformation. Transformed (5 min).
Q1-4: Yes
Q5: Be a chick!
Total Time: 29 Minutes
Hydration / Mortality - Part 4
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydration (10 Hd's)
7/18/09-Hd5-L2.4-2G(d)
Visual: A red fire hydrant sits quietly. Then all of a sudden a cap pops off and it begins gushing Someone tries to put it on, but it immediately pops off again, gushing all over. This repeats.
Feelings: Frustration, anger
Meaning: Some things in life can never be changed – you can try and may make some progress, but you are fighting a loosing battle.
Intent: Do what's right, fix things, solve problems
New Visual: A problem dog that is eventually trained to behave.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Full potential? Look like? I am someone that has tremendous faith in people and circumstances that appear impossible. I believe that anybody and anything can be changed. Anything is possible. Yes.
Q2: Old belief? E. g. I feel that the SDA church is unchangeable. I think that people are who they are and can't be changed – just leave them be – you are fighting a force like gravity. New belief? It's a force, yes, but it can be steered, like a car in a new direction – trainable. Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically see people as very easily changeable. Yes.
Q3: Yes.
Q4: Yes. Financially? Meaning? Easy to retrain people. Yes. Spiritually? Meaning? A relief people are not “stuck” in unconscious mode! Yes.
Q5: I see the dog running around ready to please . . . Assignment? Create the website!
Issue: Hydration (10 Hd's)
7/18/09-Hd5-L2.4-2G(d)
Visual: A red fire hydrant sits quietly. Then all of a sudden a cap pops off and it begins gushing Someone tries to put it on, but it immediately pops off again, gushing all over. This repeats.
Feelings: Frustration, anger
Meaning: Some things in life can never be changed – you can try and may make some progress, but you are fighting a loosing battle.
Intent: Do what's right, fix things, solve problems
New Visual: A problem dog that is eventually trained to behave.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Full potential? Look like? I am someone that has tremendous faith in people and circumstances that appear impossible. I believe that anybody and anything can be changed. Anything is possible. Yes.
Q2: Old belief? E. g. I feel that the SDA church is unchangeable. I think that people are who they are and can't be changed – just leave them be – you are fighting a force like gravity. New belief? It's a force, yes, but it can be steered, like a car in a new direction – trainable. Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically see people as very easily changeable. Yes.
Q3: Yes.
Q4: Yes. Financially? Meaning? Easy to retrain people. Yes. Spiritually? Meaning? A relief people are not “stuck” in unconscious mode! Yes.
Q5: I see the dog running around ready to please . . . Assignment? Create the website!
Excess Sleep for J.V.
Name: J.F.V. (proxy)
Issue: Sleep (3 Hd's)
7/18/09-Hd1-L4.5-1G
Visual: A drum is being beat with sticks
Meaning: Life marches on and is always pushing you to keep up and keep moving
Relation: Take a rest and escape from the hassles and rushing
Intent: Peace, to be unmolested and unforced
New Visual: A flute is played
Meaning: Life is a beautiful musical score being played. Why would you not want to be a part of it and awake to enjoy it as much as possible?
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (5 min). Ended with J. in hospital almost dead and music bringing her back to life and her dancing to it!
Q5: Dance to life!
Hd2-L5.5-2G(m)
Visual: An elephant plodding along – alone – it trumpets every once in a while – then keeps plodding. It is sad that it is so alone.
Relation: Sleep allows one to forget their aloneness.
Intent: To be yourself, uniqueness, companionship
New: A marching band
Meaning: Many band members have a unique instrument – there is only one bass drum for instance – and while they are unique, they are not alone – they play in orchestra with all the other unique instruments.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (1:30 Hours)
Q5: Play on!
Total Time: 1:50 Hours
Note: While doing this adjustment I noted two distinct regions of the brain where images could come from, one is the upper region in the brain and it involved a heightened sensing which took work and concentration, the other was in the lower regions of the brain and seemed automatic and put me into a kind of sleep / daze / paralysis. Obviously the former was the better of the two, the latter seemed as though it wasn't accurate at all, but rather was throwing out entirely fabricated images with little to zero relation. Don't let this lower “automatic” section hijack your trackings!!
Hd3-L4.5-1G
Visual: Someone is reaching the top of an escalator. They are apprehensive – how do you get off? This seems dangerous . . .
Feelings: Nervous, lots of people watching, feeling forced into something they don't like or want to do, being pushed.
Intent: Safety, being in control, not being forced, being free, choice, not being judged.
Relation to Sleep: An escape from others demands and those of life.
New Visual:
Part 1 - A chocolate cake with a cherry on top is served to J. Mmmmm. She takes a bite in great expectation. Then violently coughs and sputters it out. It has been tainted with shards of glass. WARNING Hd
Meaning: What you think is good for you may not be and what you detest as negative may in fact be a positive for you. You aren't as wise as you think you are.
Message: Voluntarily accept what comes to you as what is best for you – you may not like it but you can turn any experience into something beneficial if you really want to. Realize that you have attracted your current circumstances because these are what you need to grow and become a better person.
Part 2 – The girl not accepts and eats what everyone else is and lets go of her desires for what looks good.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (2 hours)
Q5: (1) Be careful! (2) Be very careful
7/19/09 – Update: Next morning J. was up at 6:50 when I came over which I've never seen since I've been here. She was very happy and did some nice things for me which she had never done before (brought me food). Noticed that she took control of parenting rather then letting the child control the relationship (if fussy, put in crib rather then pandering).
7/27/09 – Update: The above affect has seemed to stick somewhat as both she and her husband have been up earlier then usual, but I'm guessing since they are living in a very close and intimate community setting there is some quantum entanglement involved that is keeping this from fully manifesting. Also, I only did a transformation, there was no special integration done.
Issue: Sleep (3 Hd's)
7/18/09-Hd1-L4.5-1G
Visual: A drum is being beat with sticks
Meaning: Life marches on and is always pushing you to keep up and keep moving
Relation: Take a rest and escape from the hassles and rushing
Intent: Peace, to be unmolested and unforced
New Visual: A flute is played
Meaning: Life is a beautiful musical score being played. Why would you not want to be a part of it and awake to enjoy it as much as possible?
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (5 min). Ended with J. in hospital almost dead and music bringing her back to life and her dancing to it!
Q5: Dance to life!
Hd2-L5.5-2G(m)
Visual: An elephant plodding along – alone – it trumpets every once in a while – then keeps plodding. It is sad that it is so alone.
Relation: Sleep allows one to forget their aloneness.
Intent: To be yourself, uniqueness, companionship
New: A marching band
Meaning: Many band members have a unique instrument – there is only one bass drum for instance – and while they are unique, they are not alone – they play in orchestra with all the other unique instruments.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (1:30 Hours)
Q5: Play on!
Total Time: 1:50 Hours
Note: While doing this adjustment I noted two distinct regions of the brain where images could come from, one is the upper region in the brain and it involved a heightened sensing which took work and concentration, the other was in the lower regions of the brain and seemed automatic and put me into a kind of sleep / daze / paralysis. Obviously the former was the better of the two, the latter seemed as though it wasn't accurate at all, but rather was throwing out entirely fabricated images with little to zero relation. Don't let this lower “automatic” section hijack your trackings!!
Hd3-L4.5-1G
Visual: Someone is reaching the top of an escalator. They are apprehensive – how do you get off? This seems dangerous . . .
Feelings: Nervous, lots of people watching, feeling forced into something they don't like or want to do, being pushed.
Intent: Safety, being in control, not being forced, being free, choice, not being judged.
Relation to Sleep: An escape from others demands and those of life.
New Visual:
Part 1 - A chocolate cake with a cherry on top is served to J. Mmmmm. She takes a bite in great expectation. Then violently coughs and sputters it out. It has been tainted with shards of glass. WARNING Hd
Meaning: What you think is good for you may not be and what you detest as negative may in fact be a positive for you. You aren't as wise as you think you are.
Message: Voluntarily accept what comes to you as what is best for you – you may not like it but you can turn any experience into something beneficial if you really want to. Realize that you have attracted your current circumstances because these are what you need to grow and become a better person.
Part 2 – The girl not accepts and eats what everyone else is and lets go of her desires for what looks good.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (2 hours)
Q5: (1) Be careful! (2) Be very careful
7/19/09 – Update: Next morning J. was up at 6:50 when I came over which I've never seen since I've been here. She was very happy and did some nice things for me which she had never done before (brought me food). Noticed that she took control of parenting rather then letting the child control the relationship (if fussy, put in crib rather then pandering).
7/27/09 – Update: The above affect has seemed to stick somewhat as both she and her husband have been up earlier then usual, but I'm guessing since they are living in a very close and intimate community setting there is some quantum entanglement involved that is keeping this from fully manifesting. Also, I only did a transformation, there was no special integration done.
Blood - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A squirrel scampers around, then pauses, looking for possible predators, then scampers again and pauses.
Meaning: Life has threats – keep a careful eye out for them.
Feelings: Underlying fear
New: A parachute floats gracefully down from the sky.
Meaning: You may be surrounded by apparent dangers, but trust the parachute – the real life odds of a parachute ever failing are minuscule – the odds of God failing are zero. Your fears will never come to pass – let them go.
Transform;? Yes
Results: Already transformed
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I have fears you remind me to trust. Yes.
Q2: Old Situations? Meaning? Any fear that pops up you will help me release . . . Yes. One with? Meaning? I will automatically have no fears. Yes.
Q3: Yes. Help everyday? Meaning? I have zero fear. Yes.
Q4: Physically? Meaning? Since I have no fears I can have joy – will you give me joy? Yes! Relationship with others? How would that look? I let go of fears in terms of outcomes and simply trust that I cannot be harmed. Wow, the phrase is worth repeating: I cannot be harmed! Yes. Community? Look like? You remind me that even a whole community cannot harm me. (I like it!). Yes. Universally? Yes.
Q5: Trust
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A squirrel scampers around, then pauses, looking for possible predators, then scampers again and pauses.
Meaning: Life has threats – keep a careful eye out for them.
Feelings: Underlying fear
New: A parachute floats gracefully down from the sky.
Meaning: You may be surrounded by apparent dangers, but trust the parachute – the real life odds of a parachute ever failing are minuscule – the odds of God failing are zero. Your fears will never come to pass – let them go.
Transform;? Yes
Results: Already transformed
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I have fears you remind me to trust. Yes.
Q2: Old Situations? Meaning? Any fear that pops up you will help me release . . . Yes. One with? Meaning? I will automatically have no fears. Yes.
Q3: Yes. Help everyday? Meaning? I have zero fear. Yes.
Q4: Physically? Meaning? Since I have no fears I can have joy – will you give me joy? Yes! Relationship with others? How would that look? I let go of fears in terms of outcomes and simply trust that I cannot be harmed. Wow, the phrase is worth repeating: I cannot be harmed! Yes. Community? Look like? You remind me that even a whole community cannot harm me. (I like it!). Yes. Universally? Yes.
Q5: Trust
Nails / Protection - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Nails / Protection(5 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd3-L2.4-1G
Visual: A giant shark swims around; after several passes, it turns abruptly straight toward me and CHOMP, it's over.
Feelings: Generally feel safe around the shark but recognize possible danger – when the worst comes true, it's a surprise.
Intent: Safety, peace, fearlessness, excitement
New: A young chick is out pecking the ground for bugs, but stays close to mother and the rest – it recognizes its vulnerability and so stays in a safe range.
Meaning: Recognize your vulnerable weaknesses and invite protection to compensate. Don't presumptuously assume that you are unharmable. Ego is the #1 killer. Sharks don't care if you're a genius and hawks don't care if a baby chick is cute.
Transform? Yes
Result: Willing, but there is an immense amount of ego blocking the transformation. Transformed (5 min).
Q1-4: Yes
Q5: Be a chick!
Total Time: 29 Minutes
Issue: Nails / Protection(5 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd3-L2.4-1G
Visual: A giant shark swims around; after several passes, it turns abruptly straight toward me and CHOMP, it's over.
Feelings: Generally feel safe around the shark but recognize possible danger – when the worst comes true, it's a surprise.
Intent: Safety, peace, fearlessness, excitement
New: A young chick is out pecking the ground for bugs, but stays close to mother and the rest – it recognizes its vulnerability and so stays in a safe range.
Meaning: Recognize your vulnerable weaknesses and invite protection to compensate. Don't presumptuously assume that you are unharmable. Ego is the #1 killer. Sharks don't care if you're a genius and hawks don't care if a baby chick is cute.
Transform? Yes
Result: Willing, but there is an immense amount of ego blocking the transformation. Transformed (5 min).
Q1-4: Yes
Q5: Be a chick!
Total Time: 29 Minutes
Hydration / Mortality - Part 4
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydration (10 Hd's)
7/18/09-Hd5-L2.4-2G(d)
Visual: A red fire hydrant sits quietly. Then all of a sudden a cap pops off and it begins gushing Someone tries to put it on, but it immediately pops off again, gushing all over. This repeats.
Feelings: Frustration, anger
Meaning: Some things in life can never be changed – you can try and may make some progress, but you are fighting a loosing battle.
Intent: Do what's right, fix things, solve problems
New Visual: A problem dog that is eventually trained to behave.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Full potential? Look like? I am someone that has tremendous faith in people and circumstances that appear impossible. I believe that anybody and anything can be changed. Anything is possible. Yes.
Q2: Old belief? E. g. I feel that the SDA church is unchangeable. I think that people are who they are and can't be changed – just leave them be – you are fighting a force like gravity. New belief? It's a force, yes, but it can be steered, like a car in a new direction – trainable. Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically see people as very easily changeable. Yes.
Q3: Yes.
Q4: Yes. Financially? Meaning? Easy to retrain people. Yes. Spiritually? Meaning? A relief people are not “stuck” in unconscious mode! Yes.
Q5: I see the dog running around ready to please . . . Assignment? Create the website!
Issue: Hydration (10 Hd's)
7/18/09-Hd5-L2.4-2G(d)
Visual: A red fire hydrant sits quietly. Then all of a sudden a cap pops off and it begins gushing Someone tries to put it on, but it immediately pops off again, gushing all over. This repeats.
Feelings: Frustration, anger
Meaning: Some things in life can never be changed – you can try and may make some progress, but you are fighting a loosing battle.
Intent: Do what's right, fix things, solve problems
New Visual: A problem dog that is eventually trained to behave.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Full potential? Look like? I am someone that has tremendous faith in people and circumstances that appear impossible. I believe that anybody and anything can be changed. Anything is possible. Yes.
Q2: Old belief? E. g. I feel that the SDA church is unchangeable. I think that people are who they are and can't be changed – just leave them be – you are fighting a force like gravity. New belief? It's a force, yes, but it can be steered, like a car in a new direction – trainable. Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically see people as very easily changeable. Yes.
Q3: Yes.
Q4: Yes. Financially? Meaning? Easy to retrain people. Yes. Spiritually? Meaning? A relief people are not “stuck” in unconscious mode! Yes.
Q5: I see the dog running around ready to please . . . Assignment? Create the website!
Update: Brainwave Restructuring
July 12
While I've noticed every tracking I do shift the level of consciousness and thinking I have dramatically at the time, and then fade into a kind of general undertone, I'm now starting to notice a collective affect of all these transformations. My thoughts are becoming very coherent and are starting to resonate. It's really pretty wild. It's like I had this multitude of thoughts going off all at once and since many of them were saying different things (largely subconsciously), there was both a chaos and a canceling affect. Now I sense these waves are all coming together to create one intense coherent pattern. I'm in the middle of Lynne McTaggart's book “The Intention Experiment” (highly recommended) and it talks about this very thing and all the scientific research that has been done on brain wave patterns among those who meditate and how they are much more uniform and coherent (Chapter 5). I believe I'm getting the same affect of years of meditation with much less effort. Rather than focusing on and empowering a mature holodyne over many decades to overcome the immature ones, I am simply transforming the immature ones to resonate with the mature ones!
While I've noticed every tracking I do shift the level of consciousness and thinking I have dramatically at the time, and then fade into a kind of general undertone, I'm now starting to notice a collective affect of all these transformations. My thoughts are becoming very coherent and are starting to resonate. It's really pretty wild. It's like I had this multitude of thoughts going off all at once and since many of them were saying different things (largely subconsciously), there was both a chaos and a canceling affect. Now I sense these waves are all coming together to create one intense coherent pattern. I'm in the middle of Lynne McTaggart's book “The Intention Experiment” (highly recommended) and it talks about this very thing and all the scientific research that has been done on brain wave patterns among those who meditate and how they are much more uniform and coherent (Chapter 5). I believe I'm getting the same affect of years of meditation with much less effort. Rather than focusing on and empowering a mature holodyne over many decades to overcome the immature ones, I am simply transforming the immature ones to resonate with the mature ones!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Seeing the World as Cruel
Name: Summer Camp Student (proxy) and Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Seeing the world as cruel (1Hd)
7/10/09-Hd1-L4-1G
Visual: A ball with large metal spikes all over it
Understanding: The world is cruel
Positive Intent: Truth, softness, love, forgiveness
New Visual: A bright vivid rainbow boldly proclaims it colors. Then some kind of cold weather comes along and freezes it. All the colors become shades of blue.
Meaning: The world is truly a beautiful place. It has been taken hostage by an outside force (sin / ignorance) but while this has changed its appearance, it has not changed its innate nature. It is still a beautiful, multicolor rainbow. It just has been iced over so you can no longer see that.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (mostly had already)
Note: Interestingly, what I adjusted this holodyne, I sensed a rather large shift inside myself. Usually when I do trackings for others, I sense a shift, but it is largely external. This lead me to sense that this might be a holodyne that I shared with this person. Possibly the reason I felt attracted to this person in the first place – we shared a common view that needed adjusted. I could feel his pain because it was my pain. I checked and found this to indeed be shared, but at a lower intensity for me (L1.8).
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation? When you see a problem in someone realize you are just seeing ice build up on the outside, blocking your view from the true them. One? Meaning? You become a part of my vision, giving me faith in the beauty beyond what I see. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: Love (as in the verb)
Issue: Seeing the world as cruel (1Hd)
7/10/09-Hd1-L4-1G
Visual: A ball with large metal spikes all over it
Understanding: The world is cruel
Positive Intent: Truth, softness, love, forgiveness
New Visual: A bright vivid rainbow boldly proclaims it colors. Then some kind of cold weather comes along and freezes it. All the colors become shades of blue.
Meaning: The world is truly a beautiful place. It has been taken hostage by an outside force (sin / ignorance) but while this has changed its appearance, it has not changed its innate nature. It is still a beautiful, multicolor rainbow. It just has been iced over so you can no longer see that.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (mostly had already)
Note: Interestingly, what I adjusted this holodyne, I sensed a rather large shift inside myself. Usually when I do trackings for others, I sense a shift, but it is largely external. This lead me to sense that this might be a holodyne that I shared with this person. Possibly the reason I felt attracted to this person in the first place – we shared a common view that needed adjusted. I could feel his pain because it was my pain. I checked and found this to indeed be shared, but at a lower intensity for me (L1.8).
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation? When you see a problem in someone realize you are just seeing ice build up on the outside, blocking your view from the true them. One? Meaning? You become a part of my vision, giving me faith in the beauty beyond what I see. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: Love (as in the verb)
Hydration / Mortality - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydration / mortality (10 Hd's)
7/10/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A donut with chocolate frosting sits there, tantalizing, then it starts flipping. A chocolate ship cookie does the same. A chef appears. He serves the donut to a customer (me) and I raise it to my lips in expectation of the goodness. I swallow wrong or something and cough and sputter.
Belief: I don't deserve good things
Intent: Humility, selflessness, avoiding greed, to experience the best of life.
New Visual: I see the Eiffel tower, then notice a bird on top. At first, I think it's an owl, but it seems kind of like an eagle. As it flies off it becomes an eagle – a golden eagle.
Meaning: You can sit atop of worldly goods like an owl, or soar above them like an eagle. Which do you prefer?
New Belief: You already have the best things!
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I see something I want that I think I “can't have” - I soar above it – I recognize that I neither need it nor would having it serve me – it would affirm that I am incomplete in myself.
Q2: Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically am satisfied with material poverty recognizing richness as what you can live without rather then all the things you must have to live.
Q3: Sit with at round table? Meaning? When I have a decision to make, you remind me that material considerations are of the very least concern. Everyday? Meaning? I soar above the desires that pop up for things that I see. I let those be a reminder to rise higher. Example? A Honda hybrid drives by and the wish to have one pops up. Why do I want one? I think I would be more powerful. Why? I could travel lots of places and see lots of things. And? I would therefore become expanded as a person. Would you not be more powerful if you could achieve this same thing without going anywhere? Yes.
Q4: Physically? How? I focus on internal completeness and let go of the idea of needing something external to satisfy (e. g. water). Yes. Relationship with others? How? I let go of wanting, hoping, and expecting others to do things that will give me satisfaction. Yes. Community? How? Letting go of the belief that the world must change in order for me to be satisfied. Yes.
Q5: Rise above your desires and simply be – enjoy what is. You miss much enjoyment in the present for hopes in a future that can only be happy by enjoying the present. Let go and live now!
Issue: Hydration / mortality (10 Hd's)
7/10/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A donut with chocolate frosting sits there, tantalizing, then it starts flipping. A chocolate ship cookie does the same. A chef appears. He serves the donut to a customer (me) and I raise it to my lips in expectation of the goodness. I swallow wrong or something and cough and sputter.
Belief: I don't deserve good things
Intent: Humility, selflessness, avoiding greed, to experience the best of life.
New Visual: I see the Eiffel tower, then notice a bird on top. At first, I think it's an owl, but it seems kind of like an eagle. As it flies off it becomes an eagle – a golden eagle.
Meaning: You can sit atop of worldly goods like an owl, or soar above them like an eagle. Which do you prefer?
New Belief: You already have the best things!
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I see something I want that I think I “can't have” - I soar above it – I recognize that I neither need it nor would having it serve me – it would affirm that I am incomplete in myself.
Q2: Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically am satisfied with material poverty recognizing richness as what you can live without rather then all the things you must have to live.
Q3: Sit with at round table? Meaning? When I have a decision to make, you remind me that material considerations are of the very least concern. Everyday? Meaning? I soar above the desires that pop up for things that I see. I let those be a reminder to rise higher. Example? A Honda hybrid drives by and the wish to have one pops up. Why do I want one? I think I would be more powerful. Why? I could travel lots of places and see lots of things. And? I would therefore become expanded as a person. Would you not be more powerful if you could achieve this same thing without going anywhere? Yes.
Q4: Physically? How? I focus on internal completeness and let go of the idea of needing something external to satisfy (e. g. water). Yes. Relationship with others? How? I let go of wanting, hoping, and expecting others to do things that will give me satisfaction. Yes. Community? How? Letting go of the belief that the world must change in order for me to be satisfied. Yes.
Q5: Rise above your desires and simply be – enjoy what is. You miss much enjoyment in the present for hopes in a future that can only be happy by enjoying the present. Let go and live now!
Explanatory Video and Link
Sometimes it's nice to hear it said another way by another person. I don't exactly agree with this lady on everything, but she's got the overall concept.
Here's a post I came across that said things in terms I found refreshing:
http://www.universeofpower.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=155&start=0
Here's a post I came across that said things in terms I found refreshing:
http://www.universeofpower.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=155&start=0
Needing Excess Sleep - Part 2
Name: E. V. (proxy)
Issue: Needing excess sleep (4 Hd's)
7/10/09-Hd2-L4.1-3G(m,m)
Visual: Bunk beds, with blue sheets, wooden. The person on the bottom (E.) has feelings of togetherness. Then someone on the top bunk swings a pan down that bangs E. on the head. E. looses confidence in the person on the top, shattering the joy of companionship and retreats to the only place possible - sleep.
Intent: Companionship, fellowship
Why? Fun
New Visual: A duck is flying. It enjoys being with the other ducks and can fly further with them, but it is complete in itself and can fly all alone if need be.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (25 minutes)
Q5: Have fun being yourself (whether with others or not)
Issue: Needing excess sleep (4 Hd's)
7/10/09-Hd2-L4.1-3G(m,m)
Visual: Bunk beds, with blue sheets, wooden. The person on the bottom (E.) has feelings of togetherness. Then someone on the top bunk swings a pan down that bangs E. on the head. E. looses confidence in the person on the top, shattering the joy of companionship and retreats to the only place possible - sleep.
Intent: Companionship, fellowship
Why? Fun
New Visual: A duck is flying. It enjoys being with the other ducks and can fly further with them, but it is complete in itself and can fly all alone if need be.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (25 minutes)
Q5: Have fun being yourself (whether with others or not)
Life is Unfair
Name: J. V. (proxy)
Issue: Seeing life as unfair (1 Hd)
7/11-12/09-Hd1-L4.3-2G(m)
Visual: An elephant trumpet and puts its trunk in the air. Some kind of cold spell freezes it instantaneously. It becomes frozen in a cube of ice, buried and forgotten. Then a warm spell comes along and it thaws. It starts moving ever so slightly. It is alive again. But the damage has been done. It will never be the same again.
Meaning: Life can be cruel and unfair
Intent: Fairness, being treated right, truth, being unharmable
New Visual: A monkey is swinging from vine to vine. Snap. One vine breaks and monkey falls on butt. Ouch! But who can monkey complain to? Whose fault is it? No one's, its just how it is. Monkey gets up and swings again, but this time keeps in mind that vine could break and he should be prepared for a fall to minimize damages.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (14 min)
Q5: The risks are worth it!
Issue: Seeing life as unfair (1 Hd)
7/11-12/09-Hd1-L4.3-2G(m)
Visual: An elephant trumpet and puts its trunk in the air. Some kind of cold spell freezes it instantaneously. It becomes frozen in a cube of ice, buried and forgotten. Then a warm spell comes along and it thaws. It starts moving ever so slightly. It is alive again. But the damage has been done. It will never be the same again.
Meaning: Life can be cruel and unfair
Intent: Fairness, being treated right, truth, being unharmable
New Visual: A monkey is swinging from vine to vine. Snap. One vine breaks and monkey falls on butt. Ouch! But who can monkey complain to? Whose fault is it? No one's, its just how it is. Monkey gets up and swings again, but this time keeps in mind that vine could break and he should be prepared for a fall to minimize damages.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (14 min)
Q5: The risks are worth it!
Seeing the World as Cruel
Name: Summer Camp Student (proxy) and Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Seeing the world as cruel (1Hd)
7/10/09-Hd1-L4-1G
Visual: A ball with large metal spikes all over it
Understanding: The world is cruel
Positive Intent: Truth, softness, love, forgiveness
New Visual: A bright vivid rainbow boldly proclaims it colors. Then some kind of cold weather comes along and freezes it. All the colors become shades of blue.
Meaning: The world is truly a beautiful place. It has been taken hostage by an outside force (sin / ignorance) but while this has changed its appearance, it has not changed its innate nature. It is still a beautiful, multicolor rainbow. It just has been iced over so you can no longer see that.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (mostly had already)
Note: Interestingly, what I adjusted this holodyne, I sensed a rather large shift inside myself. Usually when I do trackings for others, I sense a shift, but it is largely external. This lead me to sense that this might be a holodyne that I shared with this person. Possibly the reason I felt attracted to this person in the first place – we shared a common view that needed adjusted. I could feel his pain because it was my pain. I checked and found this to indeed be shared, but at a lower intensity for me (L1.8).
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation? When you see a problem in someone realize you are just seeing ice build up on the outside, blocking your view from the true them. One? Meaning? You become a part of my vision, giving me faith in the beauty beyond what I see. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: Love (as in the verb)
Issue: Seeing the world as cruel (1Hd)
7/10/09-Hd1-L4-1G
Visual: A ball with large metal spikes all over it
Understanding: The world is cruel
Positive Intent: Truth, softness, love, forgiveness
New Visual: A bright vivid rainbow boldly proclaims it colors. Then some kind of cold weather comes along and freezes it. All the colors become shades of blue.
Meaning: The world is truly a beautiful place. It has been taken hostage by an outside force (sin / ignorance) but while this has changed its appearance, it has not changed its innate nature. It is still a beautiful, multicolor rainbow. It just has been iced over so you can no longer see that.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (mostly had already)
Note: Interestingly, what I adjusted this holodyne, I sensed a rather large shift inside myself. Usually when I do trackings for others, I sense a shift, but it is largely external. This lead me to sense that this might be a holodyne that I shared with this person. Possibly the reason I felt attracted to this person in the first place – we shared a common view that needed adjusted. I could feel his pain because it was my pain. I checked and found this to indeed be shared, but at a lower intensity for me (L1.8).
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation? When you see a problem in someone realize you are just seeing ice build up on the outside, blocking your view from the true them. One? Meaning? You become a part of my vision, giving me faith in the beauty beyond what I see. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: Love (as in the verb)
Hydration / Mortality - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydration / mortality (10 Hd's)
7/10/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A donut with chocolate frosting sits there, tantalizing, then it starts flipping. A chocolate ship cookie does the same. A chef appears. He serves the donut to a customer (me) and I raise it to my lips in expectation of the goodness. I swallow wrong or something and cough and sputter.
Belief: I don't deserve good things
Intent: Humility, selflessness, avoiding greed, to experience the best of life.
New Visual: I see the Eiffel tower, then notice a bird on top. At first, I think it's an owl, but it seems kind of like an eagle. As it flies off it becomes an eagle – a golden eagle.
Meaning: You can sit atop of worldly goods like an owl, or soar above them like an eagle. Which do you prefer?
New Belief: You already have the best things!
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I see something I want that I think I “can't have” - I soar above it – I recognize that I neither need it nor would having it serve me – it would affirm that I am incomplete in myself.
Q2: Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically am satisfied with material poverty recognizing richness as what you can live without rather than all the things you must have to live.
Q3: Sit with at round table? Meaning? When I have a decision to make, you remind me that material considerations are of the very least concern. Everyday? Meaning? I soar above the desires that pop up for things that I see. I let those be a reminder to rise higher. Example? A Honda hybrid drives by and the wish to have one pops up. Why do I want one? I think I would be more powerful. Why? I could travel lots of places and see lots of things. And? I would therefore become expanded as a person. Would you not be more powerful if you could achieve this same thing without going anywhere? Yes.
Q4: Physically? How? I focus on internal completeness and let go of the idea of needing something external to satisfy (e. g. water). Yes. Relationship with others? How? I let go of wanting, hoping, and expecting others to do things that will give me satisfaction. Yes. Community? How? Letting go of the belief that the world must change in order for me to be satisfied. Yes.
Q5: Rise above your desires and simply be – enjoy what is. You miss much enjoyment in the present for hopes in a future that can only be happy by enjoying the present. Let go and live now!
Issue: Hydration / mortality (10 Hd's)
7/10/09-Hd4-L2.4-1G
Visual: A donut with chocolate frosting sits there, tantalizing, then it starts flipping. A chocolate ship cookie does the same. A chef appears. He serves the donut to a customer (me) and I raise it to my lips in expectation of the goodness. I swallow wrong or something and cough and sputter.
Belief: I don't deserve good things
Intent: Humility, selflessness, avoiding greed, to experience the best of life.
New Visual: I see the Eiffel tower, then notice a bird on top. At first, I think it's an owl, but it seems kind of like an eagle. As it flies off it becomes an eagle – a golden eagle.
Meaning: You can sit atop of worldly goods like an owl, or soar above them like an eagle. Which do you prefer?
New Belief: You already have the best things!
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? When I see something I want that I think I “can't have” - I soar above it – I recognize that I neither need it nor would having it serve me – it would affirm that I am incomplete in myself.
Q2: Yes. One with? Meaning? I automatically am satisfied with material poverty recognizing richness as what you can live without rather than all the things you must have to live.
Q3: Sit with at round table? Meaning? When I have a decision to make, you remind me that material considerations are of the very least concern. Everyday? Meaning? I soar above the desires that pop up for things that I see. I let those be a reminder to rise higher. Example? A Honda hybrid drives by and the wish to have one pops up. Why do I want one? I think I would be more powerful. Why? I could travel lots of places and see lots of things. And? I would therefore become expanded as a person. Would you not be more powerful if you could achieve this same thing without going anywhere? Yes.
Q4: Physically? How? I focus on internal completeness and let go of the idea of needing something external to satisfy (e. g. water). Yes. Relationship with others? How? I let go of wanting, hoping, and expecting others to do things that will give me satisfaction. Yes. Community? How? Letting go of the belief that the world must change in order for me to be satisfied. Yes.
Q5: Rise above your desires and simply be – enjoy what is. You miss much enjoyment in the present for hopes in a future that can only be happy by enjoying the present. Let go and live now!
Teeth / Indecisiveness - Part 4
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd6-L2.4-1G
Visual: A carriage driver is trying to get his horse to move. He snaps the reins. Nothing. He cracks the whip. Nothing. He kicks the horse. Nothing. He tries to push the horse - it farts in his face. Nothing he can do will get the horse to budge. Then he feeds it a carrot. The horse eats. Then he holds a carrot a few feet away. The horse moves forward a few steps, albeit unwillingly to eat it. Then he holds a carrot an even greater distance. The horse follows. Pretty soon he is walking in front of the horse with the carrot, the horse following. Then running. Then he throws the carrot a long ways ahead. The horse thinks about it for a minute, then gallops after it, the driver hops on. Now he sits back in the carriage throwing carrots in front of the horse. (The horse is too smart for the carrot and stick trick). Another carriage pulls up. The driver talks them into going ahead with a carrot attached to the back. This seems to work, but is still not ideal . . .
Meaning: Getting what you want takes work. It is questionable whether it is worth the effort. Luxury must be compromised to obtain.
Intent: Luxury, living in ease
New: A sun with beams is spinning, such that it appears like a circular saw blade almost. It disappears and a regular sun sits there doing nothing but sitting in still silence, its rays radiating with no effort. A message is spoken: Live fully. (with an implication sensed that doing so would bring everything into life that was necessary for happiness).
Transform? Yes
Result: Did so almost immediately
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? Remind me that life is easy if I am simply living at my full potential. Yes.
Q2: Old situations? Meaning? I let go of focus on my needs and focus on how I can make the biggest impact for good in the current circumstance with faith in the fact that my needs will be met. Yes. One with? Meaning? I think and act this way automatically. Yes.
Q3: Yes.
Q4: Health? Meaning? (in relation to teeth) Rather then remaining in limbo based on whether or not if I do something my needs will be met - you help me decisively choose to do what I sense most needs done - I let go of trying to predetermine whether the outcome will benefit me and seeks to meet th needs that appear most critical as if they were my own, because they are - I am the universe. I have simply limited my "self" to a single body to experience life in a unique way. Yes.
Q5: Already stated. Assignment: Live fully!!
Note: Some of my most horrifying nightmares in the past ten years have involved loosing my teeth. These could have sprung form a subtle, subconscious understanding that sensed this was in my future based on my pervasive attitude of indecisiveness. Strangely, I did lose a tooth, which cracked due to a new wisdom tooth putting pressure on it. I don't feel this would have happened if I had transformed these holodynes sooner. Strangely, this incident didn't bother me in reality as much as in my dreams, quite possibly because of my immense faith in the potential of the human body and the creative power of the law of attraction - that nothing is lost that can't be restored.
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hd's)
7/14/09-Hd6-L2.4-1G
Visual: A carriage driver is trying to get his horse to move. He snaps the reins. Nothing. He cracks the whip. Nothing. He kicks the horse. Nothing. He tries to push the horse - it farts in his face. Nothing he can do will get the horse to budge. Then he feeds it a carrot. The horse eats. Then he holds a carrot a few feet away. The horse moves forward a few steps, albeit unwillingly to eat it. Then he holds a carrot an even greater distance. The horse follows. Pretty soon he is walking in front of the horse with the carrot, the horse following. Then running. Then he throws the carrot a long ways ahead. The horse thinks about it for a minute, then gallops after it, the driver hops on. Now he sits back in the carriage throwing carrots in front of the horse. (The horse is too smart for the carrot and stick trick). Another carriage pulls up. The driver talks them into going ahead with a carrot attached to the back. This seems to work, but is still not ideal . . .
Meaning: Getting what you want takes work. It is questionable whether it is worth the effort. Luxury must be compromised to obtain.
Intent: Luxury, living in ease
New: A sun with beams is spinning, such that it appears like a circular saw blade almost. It disappears and a regular sun sits there doing nothing but sitting in still silence, its rays radiating with no effort. A message is spoken: Live fully. (with an implication sensed that doing so would bring everything into life that was necessary for happiness).
Transform? Yes
Result: Did so almost immediately
Q1: Yes. Full potential? Meaning? Remind me that life is easy if I am simply living at my full potential. Yes.
Q2: Old situations? Meaning? I let go of focus on my needs and focus on how I can make the biggest impact for good in the current circumstance with faith in the fact that my needs will be met. Yes. One with? Meaning? I think and act this way automatically. Yes.
Q3: Yes.
Q4: Health? Meaning? (in relation to teeth) Rather then remaining in limbo based on whether or not if I do something my needs will be met - you help me decisively choose to do what I sense most needs done - I let go of trying to predetermine whether the outcome will benefit me and seeks to meet th needs that appear most critical as if they were my own, because they are - I am the universe. I have simply limited my "self" to a single body to experience life in a unique way. Yes.
Q5: Already stated. Assignment: Live fully!!
Note: Some of my most horrifying nightmares in the past ten years have involved loosing my teeth. These could have sprung form a subtle, subconscious understanding that sensed this was in my future based on my pervasive attitude of indecisiveness. Strangely, I did lose a tooth, which cracked due to a new wisdom tooth putting pressure on it. I don't feel this would have happened if I had transformed these holodynes sooner. Strangely, this incident didn't bother me in reality as much as in my dreams, quite possibly because of my immense faith in the potential of the human body and the creative power of the law of attraction - that nothing is lost that can't be restored.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Markings on Finger Nails / Protection - Part 1
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/29/09-Hd2-L2-2G(m)
Visual: A pinwheel spinning
About: Passive, moved only by outside influence
Intention: To scare off predators with minimum effort
New Visual: A barking dog
Transform? Yes
Past Attitude: To surrender to attacks and only fight back if injured (reactive), not being proactive in scaring off potential danger. Maybe a waste of time? Have to assume the worse in people? (no evidence of malice)
New Attitude: There is a time for barking, you are setting a boundary and if they cross, you know they are enemies because they have not respected it. Don't wait to be injured, scare off the injury before it gets to you.
Result: Transformed (9 min)
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) Hesitancy (being block by 8 other holodynes). Barking dogs have always annoyed me. A can very easily imagine myself a cat, but a dog, particularly one that is pro-actively barking was so foreign to me that it took me 20 minutes to be able to imagine it. I actually got down on the floor and acted it out! This helped a lot surprisingly. Q4: Community - “What does that entail?” Setting boundaries and defending. “Yes”. In harmony – How does barking and biting make harmony? “Setting boundaries may involve initial conflict but will create respect so there won't be future conflict.
Q5: (a) Love me (b) Bark! Loud! Ferociously! Fearlessly!
Note: Strangely, after doing this tracking, barking dogs don't bother me anymore!
Discovery: When doing the visuals, if nothing comes, just wait in expectation. The higher the expectation, the more likely and quickly something will come up. Also, even if a visual is just barely sensible, that's OK, sometimes they aren't overwhelmingly obvious. Go with it anyway.
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/29/09-Hd2-L2-2G(m)
Visual: A pinwheel spinning
About: Passive, moved only by outside influence
Intention: To scare off predators with minimum effort
New Visual: A barking dog
Transform? Yes
Past Attitude: To surrender to attacks and only fight back if injured (reactive), not being proactive in scaring off potential danger. Maybe a waste of time? Have to assume the worse in people? (no evidence of malice)
New Attitude: There is a time for barking, you are setting a boundary and if they cross, you know they are enemies because they have not respected it. Don't wait to be injured, scare off the injury before it gets to you.
Result: Transformed (9 min)
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) Hesitancy (being block by 8 other holodynes). Barking dogs have always annoyed me. A can very easily imagine myself a cat, but a dog, particularly one that is pro-actively barking was so foreign to me that it took me 20 minutes to be able to imagine it. I actually got down on the floor and acted it out! This helped a lot surprisingly. Q4: Community - “What does that entail?” Setting boundaries and defending. “Yes”. In harmony – How does barking and biting make harmony? “Setting boundaries may involve initial conflict but will create respect so there won't be future conflict.
Q5: (a) Love me (b) Bark! Loud! Ferociously! Fearlessly!
Note: Strangely, after doing this tracking, barking dogs don't bother me anymore!
Discovery: When doing the visuals, if nothing comes, just wait in expectation. The higher the expectation, the more likely and quickly something will come up. Also, even if a visual is just barely sensible, that's OK, sometimes they aren't overwhelmingly obvious. Go with it anyway.
Needing Company
Name: J.V. (proxy)
Issue: Putting up a fuss when people leave – aloneness (5 Hd's)
6/29/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: A ferris wheel with all the friends and family sitting in different seats and J. in a seat by himself, watching different members coma and go, come and go, always temptingly close, but never with him.
Intent: Companionship
Why? To feel important by being with important people
New Visual: A pair of blue converse shoes which spin into a blur and become stylish black dress shoes.
Meaning: You will one day grow up to be someone important, like all the people you want to surround you. You are in fact as important as them already, so don't feel you must be with them to matter.
Transform? Yes. Complete? Yes.
Note: J. was born prematurely and was alone several days after birth, which is likely the origin of this holodyne. (and the next). I found out after doing the visual that he does in fact have a pair of blue converse shoes!
Hd2-L3-1G
Visual: A ferocious predatory shark, looking for a meal
Intent: Safety and protection
Relation: Needs parents to be present to feel safe from lurking dangers.
New Visual: An empty swimming pool
Meaning: The pool is your little home, it is a closed environment into which no shark can possibly enter. Your fears have no basis in reality. They are entirely imagined.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Issue: Putting up a fuss when people leave – aloneness (5 Hd's)
6/29/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: A ferris wheel with all the friends and family sitting in different seats and J. in a seat by himself, watching different members coma and go, come and go, always temptingly close, but never with him.
Intent: Companionship
Why? To feel important by being with important people
New Visual: A pair of blue converse shoes which spin into a blur and become stylish black dress shoes.
Meaning: You will one day grow up to be someone important, like all the people you want to surround you. You are in fact as important as them already, so don't feel you must be with them to matter.
Transform? Yes. Complete? Yes.
Note: J. was born prematurely and was alone several days after birth, which is likely the origin of this holodyne. (and the next). I found out after doing the visual that he does in fact have a pair of blue converse shoes!
Hd2-L3-1G
Visual: A ferocious predatory shark, looking for a meal
Intent: Safety and protection
Relation: Needs parents to be present to feel safe from lurking dangers.
New Visual: An empty swimming pool
Meaning: The pool is your little home, it is a closed environment into which no shark can possibly enter. Your fears have no basis in reality. They are entirely imagined.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (10 seconds)
Markings on Finger Nails / Protection - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/30/09-Hd2-L2-1G
Visual: A can of soda (coke) is sitting, 3/4th's full, some one drinks it but it goes down the wrong pipe, being spit out and them hacking and coughing to get it out:
Understanding: The pleasured of the world are dangerous. The world is something to be swallowed, either you drink it all (the good and bad) or none.
Intention: Safety, pleasure
New Visual: An umbrella is out, even the there is no rain or sun. It is folded and used as a cane, then after several paces, taken out and held up again. This repeats.
Meaning: Preemptively anticipate and protect against threats and you can live in pleasure without the fear of danger striking rather then feeling forced to choose between passively embracing the whole (and hoping for the best, knowing that dangers lurk inside) and rejecting the whole entirely.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed quickly (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go! . . . Forward! . . .
Note: Nails are preemptively defensive – even though no threat is present, they present themselves to protect.
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/30/09-Hd2-L2-1G
Visual: A can of soda (coke) is sitting, 3/4th's full, some one drinks it but it goes down the wrong pipe, being spit out and them hacking and coughing to get it out:
Understanding: The pleasured of the world are dangerous. The world is something to be swallowed, either you drink it all (the good and bad) or none.
Intention: Safety, pleasure
New Visual: An umbrella is out, even the there is no rain or sun. It is folded and used as a cane, then after several paces, taken out and held up again. This repeats.
Meaning: Preemptively anticipate and protect against threats and you can live in pleasure without the fear of danger striking rather then feeling forced to choose between passively embracing the whole (and hoping for the best, knowing that dangers lurk inside) and rejecting the whole entirely.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed quickly (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go! . . . Forward! . . .
Note: Nails are preemptively defensive – even though no threat is present, they present themselves to protect.
Teeth / Indecisiveness - Part 1
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hd's)
7/1/09-Hd1-L2-2G(d)
Visual: Someone is floating down in a parachute being blown wherever the wind takes it.
Feelings: At ease, trust, “it will be OK, it will work out”, uncertainty in the hows but faith in the end result.
Intent: Surrender to God, trust, faith, fulfill God's will, peace
Problem: The “hands off” approach leaves God without a means to carry out His will.
New Visual: A jackhammer
Meaning: There is still an element of surrender – you are letting the jackhammer do the grunt work, yet there is a participation with it. You are guiding it, you are creating the destiny. God is simply the enabler.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed very quickly (5 sec)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: God - “I am your jackhammer”. Assignment: Go do it!
Hd2-L2-2G(d)
Visual: A baby bottle is filled repeatedly with milk, then is drained as a baby drinks it. It is now empty. Suck, suck, nothing. The baby is upset and throws it out in a fit. More milk is given, but now it doesn't want any. It is too upset and it feels the bottle let it down, so it doesn't want anything to do with it.*
Intent: Satisfaction, something that won't let it down, something that will eternally meet its needs.
Relation: Feeling forced to choose between two bad options (a limited, sometimes failing supply or the hope of an infinite supply that doesn't' seem to materialize as represented by the first image).
*After performing this tracking, I was curious and asked my mom if anything like this occurred when I was young. It took her only a moment to realize that something like this had indeed occurred. She told me that when I was eleven months old, she, dad, and I were on our way to Reno, Nevada to visit grandparents when I became thirsty. They had no liquid and we were in the middle of nowhere. For the next near hour I whined and complained. When we finally reached the next town, my dad went into the only place open at that time, a bar, and obtained some water. By the time it got to me, I was asleep. They awakened me and tried to get me to take it, but I didn't want it. They couldn't force me to drink it. (This may in fact also be a source of the creation of the sleep holodyne, where if I can't have a perfect world outside, I'll retreat to one inside through sleep. See "Requiring Lots of Sleep")
New Visual – Part 1: A tall 10 gallon cowboy has sits there, then feet pop out and it starts walking (quickly and cartoon like) and stops. It does this again. A single bullet is shot at it and blood starts trickling out. The hat no longer moves, but remains motionless. Someone comes to view their prize and as they lift the hat a monster that is 3x bigger then the hat jumps out and roars, scaring the bjezzus out of the shooter. The monster chases him, catches him and eats him. As he does, it is as if the screen collapses. The universe folds in on itself. Something has gone terribly wrong. WARNING Hd!
Meaning: Some things aren't a threat until you treat them as one. Your own perceptions are the real threat. Your imagination will destroy you. Let go of your own ideas of “the way things should be.” Flawed reality will treat you better then the perfect fiction.
New Visual – Part 2: Person just watches hat with gun pointed at it, not sure what it is but that's OK; It doesn't need to know so long as it stays at a distance, It eventually becomes something harmless.
Transform? Yes
Continued 7/5/09
Result: Transformed (3 min)
Q1-4: Yes
Q5-Message: Decisively accept the imperfect reality. Assignment: Decisively accept the imperfect reality.
Insight: Achievement in Hd isn't as dependent on talent, mental clarity, spiritual perceptiveness or any other kind of circumstance.
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hd's)
7/1/09-Hd1-L2-2G(d)
Visual: Someone is floating down in a parachute being blown wherever the wind takes it.
Feelings: At ease, trust, “it will be OK, it will work out”, uncertainty in the hows but faith in the end result.
Intent: Surrender to God, trust, faith, fulfill God's will, peace
Problem: The “hands off” approach leaves God without a means to carry out His will.
New Visual: A jackhammer
Meaning: There is still an element of surrender – you are letting the jackhammer do the grunt work, yet there is a participation with it. You are guiding it, you are creating the destiny. God is simply the enabler.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed very quickly (5 sec)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: God - “I am your jackhammer”. Assignment: Go do it!
Hd2-L2-2G(d)
Visual: A baby bottle is filled repeatedly with milk, then is drained as a baby drinks it. It is now empty. Suck, suck, nothing. The baby is upset and throws it out in a fit. More milk is given, but now it doesn't want any. It is too upset and it feels the bottle let it down, so it doesn't want anything to do with it.*
Intent: Satisfaction, something that won't let it down, something that will eternally meet its needs.
Relation: Feeling forced to choose between two bad options (a limited, sometimes failing supply or the hope of an infinite supply that doesn't' seem to materialize as represented by the first image).
*After performing this tracking, I was curious and asked my mom if anything like this occurred when I was young. It took her only a moment to realize that something like this had indeed occurred. She told me that when I was eleven months old, she, dad, and I were on our way to Reno, Nevada to visit grandparents when I became thirsty. They had no liquid and we were in the middle of nowhere. For the next near hour I whined and complained. When we finally reached the next town, my dad went into the only place open at that time, a bar, and obtained some water. By the time it got to me, I was asleep. They awakened me and tried to get me to take it, but I didn't want it. They couldn't force me to drink it. (This may in fact also be a source of the creation of the sleep holodyne, where if I can't have a perfect world outside, I'll retreat to one inside through sleep. See "Requiring Lots of Sleep")
New Visual – Part 1: A tall 10 gallon cowboy has sits there, then feet pop out and it starts walking (quickly and cartoon like) and stops. It does this again. A single bullet is shot at it and blood starts trickling out. The hat no longer moves, but remains motionless. Someone comes to view their prize and as they lift the hat a monster that is 3x bigger then the hat jumps out and roars, scaring the bjezzus out of the shooter. The monster chases him, catches him and eats him. As he does, it is as if the screen collapses. The universe folds in on itself. Something has gone terribly wrong. WARNING Hd!
Meaning: Some things aren't a threat until you treat them as one. Your own perceptions are the real threat. Your imagination will destroy you. Let go of your own ideas of “the way things should be.” Flawed reality will treat you better then the perfect fiction.
New Visual – Part 2: Person just watches hat with gun pointed at it, not sure what it is but that's OK; It doesn't need to know so long as it stays at a distance, It eventually becomes something harmless.
Transform? Yes
Continued 7/5/09
Result: Transformed (3 min)
Q1-4: Yes
Q5-Message: Decisively accept the imperfect reality. Assignment: Decisively accept the imperfect reality.
Insight: Achievement in Hd isn't as dependent on talent, mental clarity, spiritual perceptiveness or any other kind of circumstance.
Note on Ratings
I have previously used a scale of 1-10 to rate holodyne intensity. I will keep this scale, but use tenths (i.e. 2.6 rather then just 2) to reflect greater accuracy.
Needing Held
Name: J. V. (proxy)
Issue: Insisting on being held by mom (2 Hd's)
7/2/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: Three fluffy pancakes with butter on top and maple syrup
Intent: Good feelings
Problem: Seeking happiness from an external source
New Visual: A horse and a rider, galloping along, they go here and there and jump over one hurdle then another – they are free and independent.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (45 seconds)
Issue: Insisting on being held by mom (2 Hd's)
7/2/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: Three fluffy pancakes with butter on top and maple syrup
Intent: Good feelings
Problem: Seeking happiness from an external source
New Visual: A horse and a rider, galloping along, they go here and there and jump over one hurdle then another – they are free and independent.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (45 seconds)
Hydration / Fear of Mortality - Part 1
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydration / Fear of Mortality (10 Hd's)
7/5/09-Hd1-L2.6-2G(m)
Visual: A wide waterfall which falls down and consolidates to fit into my mouth as I am standing under it looking up with mouth open. I absorb the fullness of it without expanding. It is all absorbed into me.
Intent: Hydration, survival, life
Problem: You are receiving but not giving, you are dependent on an external.
New Visual: An animal trap sits open, waiting with metal toothed jaws for its prey. An animal (gopher) comes along – SNAP!
About: I sense that I am the trap
Meaning: Think of yourself more on the offensive then on the defensive – you are as resilient as a metal trap. You will survive – the question is if others will survive you!
Transform? Yes
Result: Many pictures of trapeze gymnast doing flips and somersaults, sometimes missing and landing wrong on ground (breaking neck, etc). Saw virtually every bad landing possible and every bone broken possible. Only when I was at total peace with any landing possible as I was floating through the air flipping backwards did I find to my surprise that I landed squarely and perfectly on my feet. The animal trap had previously been unable to control itself, snapping shut sometimes even before the prey entered. Now it could control itself and stay open even after the prey had entered it. (14 min)
Complete: Yes
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) What would daily look like? Inspired message in Q5 and also not needing to drink as much water. Q4: Relation to others – Not fear what could do to me (physically), yes to rest. Q5: Let go of the fear of mortality (injury and pain and death). Remember who you are - “I am not afraid of death for I am the one that causes death.” Assignment: Defy death.
Hd2- L2.5-1G
Visual: A tall street light, it flickers on, but I sense that it feels as though in shining its light it is becoming drained of energy.
Intent: Provide light, provide a service, give a gift, maintain its supply, maintain its energy.
New Visual: Ms. Piggy
Meaning: Be a pig. Take all that you need to meet your needs, but be nice, be polite, and be kind.
Relation to hydration: Think of yourself as a self-existent pig, one that already has everything and needs nothing. Replace with surplus the attitude of lack and yet it doesn't mean selfishness. Ms. Piggy is kind and in fact ABLE to share because of her surplus.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (2 min)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old sit- When someone asks for something that would drain, don't be afraid to point out own needs (even if excessive) and explain that you simply can't afford it (because you need backup / reserve), even if they have used both their reserve and regular supply – that's both their fault and problem – it isn't fair of them to jeopardize someone else because of their own inability to “stay stocked”. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Put on weight? Yes. Q5: Put in on buddy! Assignment: Eat up!
Insight: Sometimes taking opens up the door for giving! (e. g. Jesus and the woman at the well)
Revelation: Removing a block doesn't automatically enable what is being blocked, sometimes you must specifically create or transform a holodyne to do this (e. g. Just because you remove something that BLOCKS you from putting on weight doesn't mean you will if you aren't doing something active or have a holodyne involved that is also telling you to add weight. You are simply neutral now.)
Issue: Hydration / Fear of Mortality (10 Hd's)
7/5/09-Hd1-L2.6-2G(m)
Visual: A wide waterfall which falls down and consolidates to fit into my mouth as I am standing under it looking up with mouth open. I absorb the fullness of it without expanding. It is all absorbed into me.
Intent: Hydration, survival, life
Problem: You are receiving but not giving, you are dependent on an external.
New Visual: An animal trap sits open, waiting with metal toothed jaws for its prey. An animal (gopher) comes along – SNAP!
About: I sense that I am the trap
Meaning: Think of yourself more on the offensive then on the defensive – you are as resilient as a metal trap. You will survive – the question is if others will survive you!
Transform? Yes
Result: Many pictures of trapeze gymnast doing flips and somersaults, sometimes missing and landing wrong on ground (breaking neck, etc). Saw virtually every bad landing possible and every bone broken possible. Only when I was at total peace with any landing possible as I was floating through the air flipping backwards did I find to my surprise that I landed squarely and perfectly on my feet. The animal trap had previously been unable to control itself, snapping shut sometimes even before the prey entered. Now it could control itself and stay open even after the prey had entered it. (14 min)
Complete: Yes
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) What would daily look like? Inspired message in Q5 and also not needing to drink as much water. Q4: Relation to others – Not fear what could do to me (physically), yes to rest. Q5: Let go of the fear of mortality (injury and pain and death). Remember who you are - “I am not afraid of death for I am the one that causes death.” Assignment: Defy death.
Hd2- L2.5-1G
Visual: A tall street light, it flickers on, but I sense that it feels as though in shining its light it is becoming drained of energy.
Intent: Provide light, provide a service, give a gift, maintain its supply, maintain its energy.
New Visual: Ms. Piggy
Meaning: Be a pig. Take all that you need to meet your needs, but be nice, be polite, and be kind.
Relation to hydration: Think of yourself as a self-existent pig, one that already has everything and needs nothing. Replace with surplus the attitude of lack and yet it doesn't mean selfishness. Ms. Piggy is kind and in fact ABLE to share because of her surplus.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (2 min)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old sit- When someone asks for something that would drain, don't be afraid to point out own needs (even if excessive) and explain that you simply can't afford it (because you need backup / reserve), even if they have used both their reserve and regular supply – that's both their fault and problem – it isn't fair of them to jeopardize someone else because of their own inability to “stay stocked”. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Put on weight? Yes. Q5: Put in on buddy! Assignment: Eat up!
Insight: Sometimes taking opens up the door for giving! (e. g. Jesus and the woman at the well)
Revelation: Removing a block doesn't automatically enable what is being blocked, sometimes you must specifically create or transform a holodyne to do this (e. g. Just because you remove something that BLOCKS you from putting on weight doesn't mean you will if you aren't doing something active or have a holodyne involved that is also telling you to add weight. You are simply neutral now.)
Teeth / Indecisiveness - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (4 Hd's)
7-6-09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual:
Scene 1 – Two megalithic slabs 500 ft. tall standing side by side creating a channel which spin off into the distance.
Feelings: Awe. A decisive existence, but also beauty and spirit.
Scene 2 – A diver mechanically jumps off a diving board and flips into the water. This repeats multiple times with slight variations in the maneuver.
Meaning:
Scene 1 – Nothing that is both decisive and filled with spirit is eternal – this is temporary – more a hope or dream then an actuality.
Scene 2 – The true eternal has a decisiveness about it, but it is mechanical and lacks spirit.
Belief: That a dichotomy exists between acting decisively and acting sensitively, consciously, and “in touch with the spirit”.
Intent: To maintain beauty, fullness, spirit, sensitivity and consciousness
New Visual: An analog clock with a minute hand that “clicks” decisively (incrementally between minutes) while in complete harmonization with the second hand that smoothly glides around the face “in spirit”.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (took a while to synchronize the hands)
Q1: Yes. Q2: What would old situation be? Something that involves deliberation – a decision – and a hesitancy to go forward for fear of not having fully sensed what should be done – seeing that I can both sense and act simultaneously – they aren't mutually exclusive. One needn't plug their ears in order to act (although many do). Yes. Q3: One with? Entail? The above happening automatically. Yes. Q4: Physically (tasting AND chewing at the same time). Socially? What would that be? Going up and talking, acting, visiting, etc. while also sensing and listening . . .
Q5: Let the spirit lead (second hand) and let the decisive actions follow (minute hand). Listen and act accordingly – this can occur simultaneously! Like the clock.
Assignment: While you chew, taste and while you taste, chew.
Insight: How do you know if transformation is complete? You should be at total peace with the final image – zero negative feelings.
Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A big fat toy-looking rocket takes off and fires into space, loosing steam part way up and eventually tipping into a downward descent, barreling toward the ground.
Meaning: Some decisive decisions flop. Better to be indecisive than decisively wrong.
Intent: Correctness, accuracy, final success
New Visual: A flower fire cracker whizzes in a blaze of green color, ending in silence.
Meaning: Your action is energy and when it is based on the best information you have, it is of value in and of itself, even if the end result is lifeless. The means is an end. You are a success simply by seeking and trying to do the right thing, even if you are never able to achieve what you wish. And if the final outcome is what matters, others will build their success on your failure.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – What would that be? Where I already know what I should do but I want to hesitate and deliberate. Yes. Become one with? Entail? It means I become a beautiful firecracker doing beautiful things and let go of any other expectations. The ego cares about results, the spirit simply lives. Q3: Everyday? Entail? A new way of thinking and doing – a focus on doing good in the present and letting the future take care of itself. Q4: Yes.
Q5: Be satisfied with being a burned out, useless firecracker – let go of the ego that wants to take credit for continual achievement and success and wants to maintain a body and identity and external valuing. Decisively choose the most successful option possible and remember that true failure is not trying.
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (4 Hd's)
7-6-09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual:
Scene 1 – Two megalithic slabs 500 ft. tall standing side by side creating a channel which spin off into the distance.
Feelings: Awe. A decisive existence, but also beauty and spirit.
Scene 2 – A diver mechanically jumps off a diving board and flips into the water. This repeats multiple times with slight variations in the maneuver.
Meaning:
Scene 1 – Nothing that is both decisive and filled with spirit is eternal – this is temporary – more a hope or dream then an actuality.
Scene 2 – The true eternal has a decisiveness about it, but it is mechanical and lacks spirit.
Belief: That a dichotomy exists between acting decisively and acting sensitively, consciously, and “in touch with the spirit”.
Intent: To maintain beauty, fullness, spirit, sensitivity and consciousness
New Visual: An analog clock with a minute hand that “clicks” decisively (incrementally between minutes) while in complete harmonization with the second hand that smoothly glides around the face “in spirit”.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (took a while to synchronize the hands)
Q1: Yes. Q2: What would old situation be? Something that involves deliberation – a decision – and a hesitancy to go forward for fear of not having fully sensed what should be done – seeing that I can both sense and act simultaneously – they aren't mutually exclusive. One needn't plug their ears in order to act (although many do). Yes. Q3: One with? Entail? The above happening automatically. Yes. Q4: Physically (tasting AND chewing at the same time). Socially? What would that be? Going up and talking, acting, visiting, etc. while also sensing and listening . . .
Q5: Let the spirit lead (second hand) and let the decisive actions follow (minute hand). Listen and act accordingly – this can occur simultaneously! Like the clock.
Assignment: While you chew, taste and while you taste, chew.
Insight: How do you know if transformation is complete? You should be at total peace with the final image – zero negative feelings.
Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A big fat toy-looking rocket takes off and fires into space, loosing steam part way up and eventually tipping into a downward descent, barreling toward the ground.
Meaning: Some decisive decisions flop. Better to be indecisive than decisively wrong.
Intent: Correctness, accuracy, final success
New Visual: A flower fire cracker whizzes in a blaze of green color, ending in silence.
Meaning: Your action is energy and when it is based on the best information you have, it is of value in and of itself, even if the end result is lifeless. The means is an end. You are a success simply by seeking and trying to do the right thing, even if you are never able to achieve what you wish. And if the final outcome is what matters, others will build their success on your failure.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – What would that be? Where I already know what I should do but I want to hesitate and deliberate. Yes. Become one with? Entail? It means I become a beautiful firecracker doing beautiful things and let go of any other expectations. The ego cares about results, the spirit simply lives. Q3: Everyday? Entail? A new way of thinking and doing – a focus on doing good in the present and letting the future take care of itself. Q4: Yes.
Q5: Be satisfied with being a burned out, useless firecracker – let go of the ego that wants to take credit for continual achievement and success and wants to maintain a body and identity and external valuing. Decisively choose the most successful option possible and remember that true failure is not trying.
Hydration / Mortality / (Posture) - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydryation / Mortality (Posture) (10 Hd's)
7/6/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A frog is sitting on a lily pad. Ribbit. The pad starts spinning, a little at first, then faster and faster, eventually it slows, then stops, the frog is dizzy, falls off the pad and into the water. It drowns.
Meaning: A victim of life. You sit there minding your own business and something comes along and f's you over.
Intent: To live free and independent, be myself, be safe
New Visual: The empire state building, standing tall and stately
Transform? Yes.
Result: Transformed (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes Q5: Stand tall
Issue: Hydryation / Mortality (Posture) (10 Hd's)
7/6/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A frog is sitting on a lily pad. Ribbit. The pad starts spinning, a little at first, then faster and faster, eventually it slows, then stops, the frog is dizzy, falls off the pad and into the water. It drowns.
Meaning: A victim of life. You sit there minding your own business and something comes along and f's you over.
Intent: To live free and independent, be myself, be safe
New Visual: The empire state building, standing tall and stately
Transform? Yes.
Result: Transformed (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes Q5: Stand tall
Blood - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
6/28/09-Hd2-L2.5-1G
Visual: Cowboy boots (they stomp and kick around)
About: Not mine, I saw and wished I had, really liked the idea of
Intent: Protection, style, empowering, performing, show, enabling
Meaning: Represent needing something external to posses character qualities
New Holodyne: A beautiful white, stylishly laced wedding dress
Continued 7/6/09
Representing: The possession of qualities in character – inner shining out rather then outer adding to . . .
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (30 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? Where I think I need something external to exhibit a certain characteristic. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: LIVE
Note: As evidenced by the dates, I tried to do this one on 6/28 but couldn't for the life of me figure out what these things represented. With time, and work on other holodynes, I came back to it and the meaning popped up right away.
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
6/28/09-Hd2-L2.5-1G
Visual: Cowboy boots (they stomp and kick around)
About: Not mine, I saw and wished I had, really liked the idea of
Intent: Protection, style, empowering, performing, show, enabling
Meaning: Represent needing something external to posses character qualities
New Holodyne: A beautiful white, stylishly laced wedding dress
Continued 7/6/09
Representing: The possession of qualities in character – inner shining out rather then outer adding to . . .
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (30 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? Where I think I need something external to exhibit a certain characteristic. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: LIVE
Note: As evidenced by the dates, I tried to do this one on 6/28 but couldn't for the life of me figure out what these things represented. With time, and work on other holodynes, I came back to it and the meaning popped up right away.
Teeth / Indecisiveness - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hds)
7/7/09-Hd5-L2.4-1G
Visual: A firetruck. It drives along, begins spinning, then gets smaller and smaller – infinitely. (but doesn't disappear).
Meaning: Problems, stresses, worries can be minimized but they will never go away
Relation: Rather than dealing with problems directly and decisively, there is a tendency to seek to marginalize and minimize (push away) the problems, based on the belief that they can't really be resolved anyway. It is what it is, just distance it.
Intent: Peace, non-conflict, non-confrontation
New Holodyne: A dolphin swims at top speed and juts up out of the water with power and intention.
Meaning: With enough energy and intention, even fish can fly!! The impossible is possible if you will it.
Transform? Yes
Result: Took a bit of time to teach the dolphin it could fly . . .
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? When I think that something is impossible, you remind me that it is fully achievable. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Others? What would that look like? When I feel there is an obstacle in the relationship I be willing to confront it with the belief that I can change things! (rather then passively thinking only they can). Socially and in community? Look like? Same thing only a corporate issue – that I can change large entities. Yes. Q5: (a) “All things are possible, when you believe . . . “ (b) Any time you feel yourself marginalizing an issue, let that be a wake up call to action – everything is possible.
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hds)
7/7/09-Hd5-L2.4-1G
Visual: A firetruck. It drives along, begins spinning, then gets smaller and smaller – infinitely. (but doesn't disappear).
Meaning: Problems, stresses, worries can be minimized but they will never go away
Relation: Rather than dealing with problems directly and decisively, there is a tendency to seek to marginalize and minimize (push away) the problems, based on the belief that they can't really be resolved anyway. It is what it is, just distance it.
Intent: Peace, non-conflict, non-confrontation
New Holodyne: A dolphin swims at top speed and juts up out of the water with power and intention.
Meaning: With enough energy and intention, even fish can fly!! The impossible is possible if you will it.
Transform? Yes
Result: Took a bit of time to teach the dolphin it could fly . . .
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? When I think that something is impossible, you remind me that it is fully achievable. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Others? What would that look like? When I feel there is an obstacle in the relationship I be willing to confront it with the belief that I can change things! (rather then passively thinking only they can). Socially and in community? Look like? Same thing only a corporate issue – that I can change large entities. Yes. Q5: (a) “All things are possible, when you believe . . . “ (b) Any time you feel yourself marginalizing an issue, let that be a wake up call to action – everything is possible.
Bullet of the Day
The thoughts you think are generating information fields around which your body organizes.
Showing Kindness
Name: E.V. (proxy)
Issue: Showing Kindness (1 Hd)
7/7/09-Hd1-L4.5-1G
Visual: A ladder is standing nice, tall and straight, ready for use. Then suddenly something comes and knocks it over, smashing it to the ground in pieces. It is now useless. E. was going to use it but now can't and is sad.
Meaning: Your kindness to others will only be stomped upon. It would be nice if they appreciated it, but they won't. Don't bother.
New Visual: A hot air balloon is floating and begins to lift higher and higher and higher. WOW! This is high! Higher still and higher still . . . it is now just a pin prick and still getting smaller . . .
Update: The evening following this adjustment, I went to hop online and overhead E. talking about someone who was sick and how he had gotten some Vitamin C and Echinacea for them. While this seemed to me somewhat out of character for him, what almost startled me was the compassion I sensed in his voice. E. is a generally nice person, but this appeared to be a strikingly new attribute. (and I know E very well!)
Meaning: The kinder you are, the higher you go (closer to God), the response of others is irrelevant – it can't touch you. You are kind simply for the sake of kindness, not for the outcome.
Transform? Yes
Result: E. is nice to a lion and gives it a treat, the lion eats E. but E. has faith and along comes God and splits the lion in half and rescues him, turning into Santa delivering gifts and E is his helper. Some gifts are appreciated, others aren't but E. doesn't care, he is loved by Santa. Santa lets him take the reins and drive. E. feels special. E keeps having a tendency to thumb his nose at people and Santa keeps having to remind him this isn't very nice . . . Finally his brother (B) thumbs his nose back and this jolts E. out of the illusion that he is more special then the rest. This is just simply the job chosen for him – he is not superior. He settles into it as an occupation. It has its ups and downs – but all in all it's really no different then any other job. E. and B. were out once and someone intentionally threw a fastball and hit B. square in the forehead, cracking the skull and killing him. This enraged E. who went after them in furry. The group captured him and laid him down to torture him. His cry was heard by the dead brother and he awakened from death. He came to the group and with strong threats told them to release him. They said “who do you think you are?” His reply infuriated the leader who threw himself headlong at B. Invisible forces pinned the leader down and held him in agony. The others fled. B. Took E. on his back to his house and treated him kindly and his wounds. When leaving B. embraced to hug him. He said “I'd say I love you, but that just isn't the right word. I care for you. I am deeply concerned for your welfare. You mean a lot to me. And I guess that means I love you. E. took off in his hot air balloon tossing flowers out as he went. This just didn't seem to fit his character, but after doing it for some time he eventually became a little kid again. Now it fit!!
Issue: Showing Kindness (1 Hd)
7/7/09-Hd1-L4.5-1G
Visual: A ladder is standing nice, tall and straight, ready for use. Then suddenly something comes and knocks it over, smashing it to the ground in pieces. It is now useless. E. was going to use it but now can't and is sad.
Meaning: Your kindness to others will only be stomped upon. It would be nice if they appreciated it, but they won't. Don't bother.
New Visual: A hot air balloon is floating and begins to lift higher and higher and higher. WOW! This is high! Higher still and higher still . . . it is now just a pin prick and still getting smaller . . .
Update: The evening following this adjustment, I went to hop online and overhead E. talking about someone who was sick and how he had gotten some Vitamin C and Echinacea for them. While this seemed to me somewhat out of character for him, what almost startled me was the compassion I sensed in his voice. E. is a generally nice person, but this appeared to be a strikingly new attribute. (and I know E very well!)
Meaning: The kinder you are, the higher you go (closer to God), the response of others is irrelevant – it can't touch you. You are kind simply for the sake of kindness, not for the outcome.
Transform? Yes
Result: E. is nice to a lion and gives it a treat, the lion eats E. but E. has faith and along comes God and splits the lion in half and rescues him, turning into Santa delivering gifts and E is his helper. Some gifts are appreciated, others aren't but E. doesn't care, he is loved by Santa. Santa lets him take the reins and drive. E. feels special. E keeps having a tendency to thumb his nose at people and Santa keeps having to remind him this isn't very nice . . . Finally his brother (B) thumbs his nose back and this jolts E. out of the illusion that he is more special then the rest. This is just simply the job chosen for him – he is not superior. He settles into it as an occupation. It has its ups and downs – but all in all it's really no different then any other job. E. and B. were out once and someone intentionally threw a fastball and hit B. square in the forehead, cracking the skull and killing him. This enraged E. who went after them in furry. The group captured him and laid him down to torture him. His cry was heard by the dead brother and he awakened from death. He came to the group and with strong threats told them to release him. They said “who do you think you are?” His reply infuriated the leader who threw himself headlong at B. Invisible forces pinned the leader down and held him in agony. The others fled. B. Took E. on his back to his house and treated him kindly and his wounds. When leaving B. embraced to hug him. He said “I'd say I love you, but that just isn't the right word. I care for you. I am deeply concerned for your welfare. You mean a lot to me. And I guess that means I love you. E. took off in his hot air balloon tossing flowers out as he went. This just didn't seem to fit his character, but after doing it for some time he eventually became a little kid again. Now it fit!!
Who is the Enemy?
After several weeks of working with friends and family, and trying to show them the value of Holodynamics, and in fact working with myself, I've come to a sad, but maybe happy realization. We are our own worst enemies. Of all the people in the universe that we are afraid to confront, it is ourselves. What if we don't like what we see?
How many of us are willing to confront the deepest realities of who we are, on the most fundamental level possible and squarely analyze?
It seems that many don't like the idea of themselves being mentally ill. And yet, we all are. We all have thoughts that are producing negative outcomes in our bodies, some more then others. We like the blame game. I "caught a bug from _____ ". Some might be willing to admit that their lifestyle is the cause of their disease. But how many are willing to admit that their psyche is flawed?
Evidently time spent living in fairy tale land builds up confidence to confront the reality, because eventually, it seems people are willing to do so. Or maybe the level of suffering, and the immense amount of time spent waiting for some other miracle to come along have finally revealed the deed essential.
And yet, it is also so beautiful. We are in charge of our own lives. The universe shapes itself to our thoughts. What an incredible opportunity. In essence, we are not denying our faultedness, we are denying our divinity.
We are our own worst enemies.
How many of us are willing to confront the deepest realities of who we are, on the most fundamental level possible and squarely analyze?
It seems that many don't like the idea of themselves being mentally ill. And yet, we all are. We all have thoughts that are producing negative outcomes in our bodies, some more then others. We like the blame game. I "caught a bug from _____ ". Some might be willing to admit that their lifestyle is the cause of their disease. But how many are willing to admit that their psyche is flawed?
Evidently time spent living in fairy tale land builds up confidence to confront the reality, because eventually, it seems people are willing to do so. Or maybe the level of suffering, and the immense amount of time spent waiting for some other miracle to come along have finally revealed the deed essential.
And yet, it is also so beautiful. We are in charge of our own lives. The universe shapes itself to our thoughts. What an incredible opportunity. In essence, we are not denying our faultedness, we are denying our divinity.
We are our own worst enemies.
Blood - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/9/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A dish of greasy homemade French fries that look tantalizingly tasty.
Meaning: If it tastes good, it's bad for you. The most enjoyable things always have nasty after affects that leave you worse off then when you started.
Intent: Safety, well-being, happiness, satisfaction, pleasure
New Visual: Someone jumping off a huge bridge with a rope swing, hundreds of feet in the air.
Feelings: Ecstasy
Meaning: Doing fun things may entail risk but this can be minimized to near irrelevance if the proper precautions are taken. You can have all the fun everyone else does without the after affects if you do so within the right parameters. There is a place where safety and pleasure overlap. You needn't compromise bliss for prudence.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (almost instantaneously)
Q1: Full potential? What would that mean? When I see a pleasure that I “can't have” because I know the consequences, you remind me I can have it, just under more auspicious circumstances. But I needn't wait for these, I can create them! I need deny myself no pleasure!!
Q2: Old situation – When you see any pleasure that you want, realize that that is your pleasure. You may have to “wait” for it but time doesn't alter reality. It is yours.
Q3: Everyday? What would that look like? I can see the pleasures that others experience and rather then feelings of envy or “they will pay later,” I can rejoice in their joy, knowing that it is my joy.
Q4: Physically look like? I can be at peace with my body, knowing that I am denying it no pleasure. Denying it no good feelings.
Q5: Live it up!!
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/9/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A dish of greasy homemade French fries that look tantalizingly tasty.
Meaning: If it tastes good, it's bad for you. The most enjoyable things always have nasty after affects that leave you worse off then when you started.
Intent: Safety, well-being, happiness, satisfaction, pleasure
New Visual: Someone jumping off a huge bridge with a rope swing, hundreds of feet in the air.
Feelings: Ecstasy
Meaning: Doing fun things may entail risk but this can be minimized to near irrelevance if the proper precautions are taken. You can have all the fun everyone else does without the after affects if you do so within the right parameters. There is a place where safety and pleasure overlap. You needn't compromise bliss for prudence.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (almost instantaneously)
Q1: Full potential? What would that mean? When I see a pleasure that I “can't have” because I know the consequences, you remind me I can have it, just under more auspicious circumstances. But I needn't wait for these, I can create them! I need deny myself no pleasure!!
Q2: Old situation – When you see any pleasure that you want, realize that that is your pleasure. You may have to “wait” for it but time doesn't alter reality. It is yours.
Q3: Everyday? What would that look like? I can see the pleasures that others experience and rather then feelings of envy or “they will pay later,” I can rejoice in their joy, knowing that it is my joy.
Q4: Physically look like? I can be at peace with my body, knowing that I am denying it no pleasure. Denying it no good feelings.
Q5: Live it up!!
Markings on Finger Nails / Protection - Part 1
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/29/09-Hd2-L2-2G(m)
Visual: A pinwheel spinning
About: Passive, moved only by outside influence
Intention: To scare off predators with minimum effort
New Visual: A barking dog
Transform? Yes
Past Attitude: To surrender to attacks and only fight back if injured (reactive), not being proactive in scaring off potential danger. Maybe a waste of time? Have to assume the worse in people? (no evidence of malice)
New Attitude: There is a time for barking, you are setting a boundary and if they cross, you know they are enemies because they have not respected it. Don't wait to be injured, scare off the injury before it gets to you.
Result: Transformed (9 min)
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) Hesitancy (being block by 8 other holodynes). Barking dogs have always annoyed me. A can very easily imagine myself a cat, but a dog, particularly one that is pro-actively barking was so foreign to me that it took me 20 minutes to be able to imagine it. I actually got down on the floor and acted it out! This helped a lot surprisingly. Q4: Community - “What does that entail?” Setting boundaries and defending. “Yes”. In harmony – How does barking and biting make harmony? “Setting boundaries may involve initial conflict but will create respect so there won't be future conflict.
Q5: (a) Love me (b) Bark! Loud! Ferociously! Fearlessly!
Note: Strangely, after doing this tracking, barking dogs don't bother me anymore!
Discovery: When doing the visuals, if nothing comes, just wait in expectation. The higher the expectation, the more likely and quickly something will come up. Also, even if a visual is just barely sensible, that's OK, sometimes they aren't overwhelmingly obvious. Go with it anyway.
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/29/09-Hd2-L2-2G(m)
Visual: A pinwheel spinning
About: Passive, moved only by outside influence
Intention: To scare off predators with minimum effort
New Visual: A barking dog
Transform? Yes
Past Attitude: To surrender to attacks and only fight back if injured (reactive), not being proactive in scaring off potential danger. Maybe a waste of time? Have to assume the worse in people? (no evidence of malice)
New Attitude: There is a time for barking, you are setting a boundary and if they cross, you know they are enemies because they have not respected it. Don't wait to be injured, scare off the injury before it gets to you.
Result: Transformed (9 min)
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) Hesitancy (being block by 8 other holodynes). Barking dogs have always annoyed me. A can very easily imagine myself a cat, but a dog, particularly one that is pro-actively barking was so foreign to me that it took me 20 minutes to be able to imagine it. I actually got down on the floor and acted it out! This helped a lot surprisingly. Q4: Community - “What does that entail?” Setting boundaries and defending. “Yes”. In harmony – How does barking and biting make harmony? “Setting boundaries may involve initial conflict but will create respect so there won't be future conflict.
Q5: (a) Love me (b) Bark! Loud! Ferociously! Fearlessly!
Note: Strangely, after doing this tracking, barking dogs don't bother me anymore!
Discovery: When doing the visuals, if nothing comes, just wait in expectation. The higher the expectation, the more likely and quickly something will come up. Also, even if a visual is just barely sensible, that's OK, sometimes they aren't overwhelmingly obvious. Go with it anyway.
Markings on Finger Nails / Protection - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/30/09-Hd2-L2-1G
Visual: A can of soda (coke) is sitting, 3/4th's full, some one drinks it but it goes down the wrong pipe, being spit out and them hacking and coughing to get it out:
Understanding: The pleasured of the world are dangerous. The world is something to be swallowed, either you drink it all (the good and bad) or none.
Intention: Safety, pleasure
New Visual: An umbrella is out, even the there is no rain or sun. It is folded and used as a cane, then after several paces, taken out and held up again. This repeats.
Meaning: Preemptively anticipate and protect against threats and you can live in pleasure without the fear of danger striking rather then feeling forced to choose between passively embracing the whole (and hoping for the best, knowing that dangers lurk inside) and rejecting the whole entirely.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed quickly (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go! . . . Forward! . . .
Note: Nails are preemptively defensive – even though no threat is present, they present themselves to protect.
Issue: Markings on Finger Nails / Protection (5 Hd's)
6/30/09-Hd2-L2-1G
Visual: A can of soda (coke) is sitting, 3/4th's full, some one drinks it but it goes down the wrong pipe, being spit out and them hacking and coughing to get it out:
Understanding: The pleasured of the world are dangerous. The world is something to be swallowed, either you drink it all (the good and bad) or none.
Intention: Safety, pleasure
New Visual: An umbrella is out, even the there is no rain or sun. It is folded and used as a cane, then after several paces, taken out and held up again. This repeats.
Meaning: Preemptively anticipate and protect against threats and you can live in pleasure without the fear of danger striking rather then feeling forced to choose between passively embracing the whole (and hoping for the best, knowing that dangers lurk inside) and rejecting the whole entirely.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed quickly (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go! . . . Forward! . . .
Note: Nails are preemptively defensive – even though no threat is present, they present themselves to protect.
Teeth / Indecisiveness - Part 1
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hd's)
7/1/09-Hd1-L2-2G(d)
Visual: Someone is floating down in a parachute being blown wherever the wind takes it.
Feelings: At ease, trust, “it will be OK, it will work out”, uncertainty in the hows but faith in the end result.
Intent: Surrender to God, trust, faith, fulfill God's will, peace
Problem: The “hands off” approach leaves God without a means to carry out His will.
New Visual: A jackhammer
Meaning: There is still an element of surrender – you are letting the jackhammer do the grunt work, yet there is a participation with it. You are guiding it, you are creating the destiny. God is simply the enabler.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed very quickly (5 sec)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: God - “I am your jackhammer”. Assignment: Go do it!
Hd2-L2-2G(d)
Visual: A baby bottle is filled repeatedly with milk, then is drained as a baby drinks it. It is now empty. Suck, suck, nothing. The baby is upset and throws it out in a fit. More milk is given, but now it doesn't want any. It is too upset and it feels the bottle let it down, so it doesn't want anything to do with it.*
Intent: Satisfaction, something that won't let it down, something that will eternally meet its needs.
Relation: Feeling forced to choose between two bad options (a limited, sometimes failing supply or the hope of an infinite supply that doesn't' seem to materialize as represented by the first image).
*After performing this tracking, I was curious and asked my mom if anything like this occurred when I was young. It took her only a moment to realize that something like this had indeed occurred. She told me that when I was eleven months old, she, dad, and I were on our way to Reno, Nevada to visit grandparents when I became thirsty. They had no liquid and we were in the middle of nowhere. For the next near hour I whined and complained. When we finally reached the next town, my dad went into the only place open at that time, a bar, and obtained some water. By the time it got to me, I was asleep. They awakened me and tried to get me to take it, but I didn't want it. They couldn't force me to drink it. (This may in fact also be a source of the creation of the sleep holodyne, where if I can't have a perfect world outside, I'll retreat to one inside through sleep. See "Requiring Lots of Sleep")
New Visual – Part 1: A tall 10 gallon cowboy has sits there, then feet pop out and it starts walking (quickly and cartoon like) and stops. It does this again. A single bullet is shot at it and blood starts trickling out. The hat no longer moves, but remains motionless. Someone comes to view their prize and as they lift the hat a monster that is 3x bigger then the hat jumps out and roars, scaring the bjezzus out of the shooter. The monster chases him, catches him and eats him. As he does, it is as if the screen collapses. The universe folds in on itself. Something has gone terribly wrong. WARNING Hd!
Meaning: Some things aren't a threat until you treat them as one. Your own perceptions are the real threat. Your imagination will destroy you. Let go of your own ideas of “the way things should be.” Flawed reality will treat you better then the perfect fiction.
New Visual – Part 2: Person just watches hat with gun pointed at it, not sure what it is but that's OK; It doesn't need to know so long as it stays at a distance, It eventually becomes something harmless.
Transform? Yes
Continued 7/5/09
Result: Transformed (3 min)
Q1-4: Yes
Q5-Message: Decisively accept the imperfect reality. Assignment: Decisively accept the imperfect reality.
Insight: Achievement in Hd isn't as dependent on talent, mental clarity, spiritual perceptiveness or any other kind of circumstance.
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hd's)
7/1/09-Hd1-L2-2G(d)
Visual: Someone is floating down in a parachute being blown wherever the wind takes it.
Feelings: At ease, trust, “it will be OK, it will work out”, uncertainty in the hows but faith in the end result.
Intent: Surrender to God, trust, faith, fulfill God's will, peace
Problem: The “hands off” approach leaves God without a means to carry out His will.
New Visual: A jackhammer
Meaning: There is still an element of surrender – you are letting the jackhammer do the grunt work, yet there is a participation with it. You are guiding it, you are creating the destiny. God is simply the enabler.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed very quickly (5 sec)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: God - “I am your jackhammer”. Assignment: Go do it!
Hd2-L2-2G(d)
Visual: A baby bottle is filled repeatedly with milk, then is drained as a baby drinks it. It is now empty. Suck, suck, nothing. The baby is upset and throws it out in a fit. More milk is given, but now it doesn't want any. It is too upset and it feels the bottle let it down, so it doesn't want anything to do with it.*
Intent: Satisfaction, something that won't let it down, something that will eternally meet its needs.
Relation: Feeling forced to choose between two bad options (a limited, sometimes failing supply or the hope of an infinite supply that doesn't' seem to materialize as represented by the first image).
*After performing this tracking, I was curious and asked my mom if anything like this occurred when I was young. It took her only a moment to realize that something like this had indeed occurred. She told me that when I was eleven months old, she, dad, and I were on our way to Reno, Nevada to visit grandparents when I became thirsty. They had no liquid and we were in the middle of nowhere. For the next near hour I whined and complained. When we finally reached the next town, my dad went into the only place open at that time, a bar, and obtained some water. By the time it got to me, I was asleep. They awakened me and tried to get me to take it, but I didn't want it. They couldn't force me to drink it. (This may in fact also be a source of the creation of the sleep holodyne, where if I can't have a perfect world outside, I'll retreat to one inside through sleep. See "Requiring Lots of Sleep")
New Visual – Part 1: A tall 10 gallon cowboy has sits there, then feet pop out and it starts walking (quickly and cartoon like) and stops. It does this again. A single bullet is shot at it and blood starts trickling out. The hat no longer moves, but remains motionless. Someone comes to view their prize and as they lift the hat a monster that is 3x bigger then the hat jumps out and roars, scaring the bjezzus out of the shooter. The monster chases him, catches him and eats him. As he does, it is as if the screen collapses. The universe folds in on itself. Something has gone terribly wrong. WARNING Hd!
Meaning: Some things aren't a threat until you treat them as one. Your own perceptions are the real threat. Your imagination will destroy you. Let go of your own ideas of “the way things should be.” Flawed reality will treat you better then the perfect fiction.
New Visual – Part 2: Person just watches hat with gun pointed at it, not sure what it is but that's OK; It doesn't need to know so long as it stays at a distance, It eventually becomes something harmless.
Transform? Yes
Continued 7/5/09
Result: Transformed (3 min)
Q1-4: Yes
Q5-Message: Decisively accept the imperfect reality. Assignment: Decisively accept the imperfect reality.
Insight: Achievement in Hd isn't as dependent on talent, mental clarity, spiritual perceptiveness or any other kind of circumstance.
Note on Ratings
I have previously used a scale of 1-10 to rate holodyne intensity. I will keep this scale, but use tenths (i.e. 2.6 rather then just 2) to reflect greater accuracy.
Hydration / Fear of Mortality - Part 1
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydration / Fear of Mortality (10 Hd's)
7/5/09-Hd1-L2.6-2G(m)
Visual: A wide waterfall which falls down and consolidates to fit into my mouth as I am standing under it looking up with mouth open. I absorb the fullness of it without expanding. It is all absorbed into me.
Intent: Hydration, survival, life
Problem: You are receiving but not giving, you are dependent on an external.
New Visual: An animal trap sits open, waiting with metal toothed jaws for its prey. An animal (gopher) comes along – SNAP!
About: I sense that I am the trap
Meaning: Think of yourself more on the offensive then on the defensive – you are as resilient as a metal trap. You will survive – the question is if others will survive you!
Transform? Yes
Result: Many pictures of trapeze gymnast doing flips and somersaults, sometimes missing and landing wrong on ground (breaking neck, etc). Saw virtually every bad landing possible and every bone broken possible. Only when I was at total peace with any landing possible as I was floating through the air flipping backwards did I find to my surprise that I landed squarely and perfectly on my feet. The animal trap had previously been unable to control itself, snapping shut sometimes even before the prey entered. Now it could control itself and stay open even after the prey had entered it. (14 min)
Complete: Yes
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) What would daily look like? Inspired message in Q5 and also not needing to drink as much water. Q4: Relation to others – Not fear what could do to me (physically), yes to rest. Q5: Let go of the fear of mortality (injury and pain and death). Remember who you are - “I am not afraid of death for I am the one that causes death.” Assignment: Defy death.
Hd2- L2.5-1G
Visual: A tall street light, it flickers on, but I sense that it feels as though in shining its light it is becoming drained of energy.
Intent: Provide light, provide a service, give a gift, maintain its supply, maintain its energy.
New Visual: Ms. Piggy
Meaning: Be a pig. Take all that you need to meet your needs, but be nice, be polite, and be kind.
Relation to hydration: Think of yourself as a self-existent pig, one that already has everything and needs nothing. Replace with surplus the attitude of lack and yet it doesn't mean selfishness. Ms. Piggy is kind and in fact ABLE to share because of her surplus.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (2 min)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old sit- When someone asks for something that would drain, don't be afraid to point out own needs (even if excessive) and explain that you simply can't afford it (because you need backup / reserve), even if they have used both their reserve and regular supply – that's both their fault and problem – it isn't fair of them to jeopardize someone else because of their own inability to “stay stocked”. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Put on weight? Yes. Q5: Put in on buddy! Assignment: Eat up!
Insight: Sometimes taking opens up the door for giving! (e. g. Jesus and the woman at the well)
Revelation: Removing a block doesn't automatically enable what is being blocked, sometimes you must specifically create or transform a holodyne to do this (e. g. Just because you remove something that BLOCKS you from putting on weight doesn't mean you will if you aren't doing something active or have a holodyne involved that is also telling you to add weight. You are simply neutral now.)
Issue: Hydration / Fear of Mortality (10 Hd's)
7/5/09-Hd1-L2.6-2G(m)
Visual: A wide waterfall which falls down and consolidates to fit into my mouth as I am standing under it looking up with mouth open. I absorb the fullness of it without expanding. It is all absorbed into me.
Intent: Hydration, survival, life
Problem: You are receiving but not giving, you are dependent on an external.
New Visual: An animal trap sits open, waiting with metal toothed jaws for its prey. An animal (gopher) comes along – SNAP!
About: I sense that I am the trap
Meaning: Think of yourself more on the offensive then on the defensive – you are as resilient as a metal trap. You will survive – the question is if others will survive you!
Transform? Yes
Result: Many pictures of trapeze gymnast doing flips and somersaults, sometimes missing and landing wrong on ground (breaking neck, etc). Saw virtually every bad landing possible and every bone broken possible. Only when I was at total peace with any landing possible as I was floating through the air flipping backwards did I find to my surprise that I landed squarely and perfectly on my feet. The animal trap had previously been unable to control itself, snapping shut sometimes even before the prey entered. Now it could control itself and stay open even after the prey had entered it. (14 min)
Complete: Yes
Q1-2: Yes. Q3: (a) Yes. (b) What would daily look like? Inspired message in Q5 and also not needing to drink as much water. Q4: Relation to others – Not fear what could do to me (physically), yes to rest. Q5: Let go of the fear of mortality (injury and pain and death). Remember who you are - “I am not afraid of death for I am the one that causes death.” Assignment: Defy death.
Hd2- L2.5-1G
Visual: A tall street light, it flickers on, but I sense that it feels as though in shining its light it is becoming drained of energy.
Intent: Provide light, provide a service, give a gift, maintain its supply, maintain its energy.
New Visual: Ms. Piggy
Meaning: Be a pig. Take all that you need to meet your needs, but be nice, be polite, and be kind.
Relation to hydration: Think of yourself as a self-existent pig, one that already has everything and needs nothing. Replace with surplus the attitude of lack and yet it doesn't mean selfishness. Ms. Piggy is kind and in fact ABLE to share because of her surplus.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (2 min)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old sit- When someone asks for something that would drain, don't be afraid to point out own needs (even if excessive) and explain that you simply can't afford it (because you need backup / reserve), even if they have used both their reserve and regular supply – that's both their fault and problem – it isn't fair of them to jeopardize someone else because of their own inability to “stay stocked”. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Put on weight? Yes. Q5: Put in on buddy! Assignment: Eat up!
Insight: Sometimes taking opens up the door for giving! (e. g. Jesus and the woman at the well)
Revelation: Removing a block doesn't automatically enable what is being blocked, sometimes you must specifically create or transform a holodyne to do this (e. g. Just because you remove something that BLOCKS you from putting on weight doesn't mean you will if you aren't doing something active or have a holodyne involved that is also telling you to add weight. You are simply neutral now.)
Hydration / Mortality / (Posture) - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Hydryation / Mortality (Posture) (10 Hd's)
7/6/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A frog is sitting on a lily pad. Ribbit. The pad starts spinning, a little at first, then faster and faster, eventually it slows, then stops, the frog is dizzy, falls off the pad and into the water. It drowns.
Meaning: A victim of life. You sit there minding your own business and something comes along and f's you over.
Intent: To live free and independent, be myself, be safe
New Visual: The empire state building, standing tall and stately
Transform? Yes.
Result: Transformed (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes Q5: Stand tall
Issue: Hydryation / Mortality (Posture) (10 Hd's)
7/6/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A frog is sitting on a lily pad. Ribbit. The pad starts spinning, a little at first, then faster and faster, eventually it slows, then stops, the frog is dizzy, falls off the pad and into the water. It drowns.
Meaning: A victim of life. You sit there minding your own business and something comes along and f's you over.
Intent: To live free and independent, be myself, be safe
New Visual: The empire state building, standing tall and stately
Transform? Yes.
Result: Transformed (1 min)
Q1-4: Yes Q5: Stand tall
Blood - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/9/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A dish of greasy homemade French fries that look tantalizingly tasty.
Meaning: If it tastes good, it's bad for you. The most enjoyable things always have nasty after affects that leave you worse off than when you started.
Intent: Safety, well-being, happiness, satisfaction, pleasure
New Visual: Someone jumping off a huge bridge with a rope swing, hundreds of feet in the air.
Feelings: Ecstasy
Meaning: Doing fun things may entail risk but this can be minimized to near irrelevance if the proper precautions are taken. You can have all the fun everyone else does without the after affects if you do so within the right parameters. There is a place where safety and pleasure overlap. You needn't compromise bliss for prudence.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (almost instantaneously)
Q1: Full potential? What would that mean? When I see a pleasure that I “can't have” because I know the consequences, you remind me I can have it, just under more auspicious circumstances. But I needn't wait for these, I can create them! I need deny myself no pleasure!!
Q2: Old situation – When you see any pleasure that you want, realize that that is your pleasure. You may have to “wait” for it but time doesn't alter reality. It is yours.
Q3: Everyday? What would that look like? I can see the pleasures that others experience and rather than feelings of envy or “they will pay later,” I can rejoice in their joy, knowing that it is my joy.
Q4: Physically look like? I can be at peace with my body, knowing that I am denying it no pleasure. Denying it no good feelings.
Q5: Live it up!!
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
7/9/09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A dish of greasy homemade French fries that look tantalizingly tasty.
Meaning: If it tastes good, it's bad for you. The most enjoyable things always have nasty after affects that leave you worse off than when you started.
Intent: Safety, well-being, happiness, satisfaction, pleasure
New Visual: Someone jumping off a huge bridge with a rope swing, hundreds of feet in the air.
Feelings: Ecstasy
Meaning: Doing fun things may entail risk but this can be minimized to near irrelevance if the proper precautions are taken. You can have all the fun everyone else does without the after affects if you do so within the right parameters. There is a place where safety and pleasure overlap. You needn't compromise bliss for prudence.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (almost instantaneously)
Q1: Full potential? What would that mean? When I see a pleasure that I “can't have” because I know the consequences, you remind me I can have it, just under more auspicious circumstances. But I needn't wait for these, I can create them! I need deny myself no pleasure!!
Q2: Old situation – When you see any pleasure that you want, realize that that is your pleasure. You may have to “wait” for it but time doesn't alter reality. It is yours.
Q3: Everyday? What would that look like? I can see the pleasures that others experience and rather than feelings of envy or “they will pay later,” I can rejoice in their joy, knowing that it is my joy.
Q4: Physically look like? I can be at peace with my body, knowing that I am denying it no pleasure. Denying it no good feelings.
Q5: Live it up!!
Teeth / Indecisiveness - Part 3
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hds)
7/7/09-Hd5-L2.4-1G
Visual: A firetruck. It drives along, begins spinning, then gets smaller and smaller – infinitely. (but doesn't disappear).
Meaning: Problems, stresses, worries can be minimized but they will never go away
Relation: Rather than dealing with problems directly and decisively, there is a tendency to seek to marginalize and minimize (push away) the problems, based on the belief that they can't really be resolved anyway. It is what it is, just distance it.
Intent: Peace, non-conflict, non-confrontation
New Holodyne: A dolphin swims at top speed and juts up out of the water with power and intention.
Meaning: With enough energy and intention, even fish can fly!! The impossible is possible if you will it.
Transform? Yes
Result: Took a bit of time to teach the dolphin it could fly . . .
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? When I think that something is impossible, you remind me that it is fully achievable. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Others? What would that look like? When I feel there is an obstacle in the relationship I be willing to confront it with the belief that I can change things! (rather than passively thinking only they can). Socially and in community? Look like? Same thing only a corporate issue – that I can change large entities. Yes. Q5: (a) “All things are possible, when you believe . . . “ (b) Any time you feel yourself marginalizing an issue, let that be a wake up call to action – everything is possible.
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (10 Hds)
7/7/09-Hd5-L2.4-1G
Visual: A firetruck. It drives along, begins spinning, then gets smaller and smaller – infinitely. (but doesn't disappear).
Meaning: Problems, stresses, worries can be minimized but they will never go away
Relation: Rather than dealing with problems directly and decisively, there is a tendency to seek to marginalize and minimize (push away) the problems, based on the belief that they can't really be resolved anyway. It is what it is, just distance it.
Intent: Peace, non-conflict, non-confrontation
New Holodyne: A dolphin swims at top speed and juts up out of the water with power and intention.
Meaning: With enough energy and intention, even fish can fly!! The impossible is possible if you will it.
Transform? Yes
Result: Took a bit of time to teach the dolphin it could fly . . .
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? When I think that something is impossible, you remind me that it is fully achievable. Yes. Q3: Yes. Q4: Others? What would that look like? When I feel there is an obstacle in the relationship I be willing to confront it with the belief that I can change things! (rather than passively thinking only they can). Socially and in community? Look like? Same thing only a corporate issue – that I can change large entities. Yes. Q5: (a) “All things are possible, when you believe . . . “ (b) Any time you feel yourself marginalizing an issue, let that be a wake up call to action – everything is possible.
Blood - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
6/28/09-Hd2-L2.5-1G
Visual: Cowboy boots (they stomp and kick around)
About: Not mine, I saw and wished I had, really liked the idea of
Intent: Protection, style, empowering, performing, show, enabling
Meaning: Represent needing something external to posses character qualities
New Holodyne: A beautiful white, stylishly laced wedding dress
Continued 7/6/09
Representing: The possession of qualities in character – inner shining out rather than outer adding to . . .
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (30 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? Where I think I need something external to exhibit a certain characteristic. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: LIVE
Note: As evidenced by the dates, I tried to do this one on 6/28 but couldn't for the life of me figure out what these things represented. With time, and work on other holodynes, I came back to it and the meaning popped up right away.
Issue: Blood (4 Hd's)
6/28/09-Hd2-L2.5-1G
Visual: Cowboy boots (they stomp and kick around)
About: Not mine, I saw and wished I had, really liked the idea of
Intent: Protection, style, empowering, performing, show, enabling
Meaning: Represent needing something external to posses character qualities
New Holodyne: A beautiful white, stylishly laced wedding dress
Continued 7/6/09
Representing: The possession of qualities in character – inner shining out rather than outer adding to . . .
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (30 seconds)
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – which? Where I think I need something external to exhibit a certain characteristic. Yes. Q3-4: Yes. Q5: LIVE
Note: As evidenced by the dates, I tried to do this one on 6/28 but couldn't for the life of me figure out what these things represented. With time, and work on other holodynes, I came back to it and the meaning popped up right away.
Teeth / Indecisiveness - Part 2
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (4 Hd's)
7-6-09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual:
Scene 1 – Two megalithic slabs 500 ft. tall standing side by side creating a channel which spin off into the distance.
Feelings: Awe. A decisive existence, but also beauty and spirit.
Scene 2 – A diver mechanically jumps off a diving board and flips into the water. This repeats multiple times with slight variations in the maneuver.
Meaning:
Scene 1 – Nothing that is both decisive and filled with spirit is eternal – this is temporary – more a hope or dream than an actuality.
Scene 2 – The true eternal has a decisiveness about it, but it is mechanical and lacks spirit.
Belief: That a dichotomy exists between acting decisively and acting sensitively, consciously, and “in touch with the spirit”.
Intent: To maintain beauty, fullness, spirit, sensitivity and consciousness
New Visual: An analog clock with a minute hand that “clicks” decisively (incrementally between minutes) while in complete harmonization with the second hand that smoothly glides around the face “in spirit”.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (took a while to synchronize the hands)
Q1: Yes. Q2: What would old situation be? Something that involves deliberation – a decision – and a hesitancy to go forward for fear of not having fully sensed what should be done – seeing that I can both sense and act simultaneously – they aren't mutually exclusive. One needn't plug their ears in order to act (although many do). Yes. Q3: One with? Entail? The above happening automatically. Yes. Q4: Physically (tasting AND chewing at the same time). Socially? What would that be? Going up and talking, acting, visiting, etc. while also sensing and listening . . .
Q5: Let the spirit lead (second hand) and let the decisive actions follow (minute hand). Listen and act accordingly – this can occur simultaneously! Like the clock.
Assignment: While you chew, taste and while you taste, chew.
Insight: How do you know if transformation is complete? You should be at total peace with the final image – zero negative feelings.
Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A big fat toy-looking rocket takes off and fires into space, loosing steam part way up and eventually tipping into a downward descent, barreling toward the ground.
Meaning: Some decisive decisions flop. Better to be indecisive than decisively wrong.
Intent: Correctness, accuracy, final success
New Visual: A flower fire cracker whizzes in a blaze of green color, ending in silence.
Meaning: Your action is energy and when it is based on the best information you have, it is of value in and of itself, even if the end result is lifeless. The means is an end. You are a success simply by seeking and trying to do the right thing, even if you are never able to achieve what you wish. And if the final outcome is what matters, others will build their success on your failure.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – What would that be? Where I already know what I should do but I want to hesitate and deliberate. Yes. Become one with? Entail? It means I become a beautiful firecracker doing beautiful things and let go of any other expectations. The ego cares about results, the spirit simply lives. Q3: Everyday? Entail? A new way of thinking and doing – a focus on doing good in the present and letting the future take care of itself. Q4: Yes.
Q5: Be satisfied with being a burned out, useless firecracker – let go of the ego that wants to take credit for continual achievement and success and wants to maintain a body and identity and external valuing. Decisively choose the most successful option possible and remember that true failure is not trying.
Issue: Teeth / Indecisiveness (4 Hd's)
7-6-09-Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual:
Scene 1 – Two megalithic slabs 500 ft. tall standing side by side creating a channel which spin off into the distance.
Feelings: Awe. A decisive existence, but also beauty and spirit.
Scene 2 – A diver mechanically jumps off a diving board and flips into the water. This repeats multiple times with slight variations in the maneuver.
Meaning:
Scene 1 – Nothing that is both decisive and filled with spirit is eternal – this is temporary – more a hope or dream than an actuality.
Scene 2 – The true eternal has a decisiveness about it, but it is mechanical and lacks spirit.
Belief: That a dichotomy exists between acting decisively and acting sensitively, consciously, and “in touch with the spirit”.
Intent: To maintain beauty, fullness, spirit, sensitivity and consciousness
New Visual: An analog clock with a minute hand that “clicks” decisively (incrementally between minutes) while in complete harmonization with the second hand that smoothly glides around the face “in spirit”.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed (took a while to synchronize the hands)
Q1: Yes. Q2: What would old situation be? Something that involves deliberation – a decision – and a hesitancy to go forward for fear of not having fully sensed what should be done – seeing that I can both sense and act simultaneously – they aren't mutually exclusive. One needn't plug their ears in order to act (although many do). Yes. Q3: One with? Entail? The above happening automatically. Yes. Q4: Physically (tasting AND chewing at the same time). Socially? What would that be? Going up and talking, acting, visiting, etc. while also sensing and listening . . .
Q5: Let the spirit lead (second hand) and let the decisive actions follow (minute hand). Listen and act accordingly – this can occur simultaneously! Like the clock.
Assignment: While you chew, taste and while you taste, chew.
Insight: How do you know if transformation is complete? You should be at total peace with the final image – zero negative feelings.
Hd3-L2.5-1G
Visual: A big fat toy-looking rocket takes off and fires into space, loosing steam part way up and eventually tipping into a downward descent, barreling toward the ground.
Meaning: Some decisive decisions flop. Better to be indecisive than decisively wrong.
Intent: Correctness, accuracy, final success
New Visual: A flower fire cracker whizzes in a blaze of green color, ending in silence.
Meaning: Your action is energy and when it is based on the best information you have, it is of value in and of itself, even if the end result is lifeless. The means is an end. You are a success simply by seeking and trying to do the right thing, even if you are never able to achieve what you wish. And if the final outcome is what matters, others will build their success on your failure.
Transform? Yes
Result: Transformed
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation – What would that be? Where I already know what I should do but I want to hesitate and deliberate. Yes. Become one with? Entail? It means I become a beautiful firecracker doing beautiful things and let go of any other expectations. The ego cares about results, the spirit simply lives. Q3: Everyday? Entail? A new way of thinking and doing – a focus on doing good in the present and letting the future take care of itself. Q4: Yes.
Q5: Be satisfied with being a burned out, useless firecracker – let go of the ego that wants to take credit for continual achievement and success and wants to maintain a body and identity and external valuing. Decisively choose the most successful option possible and remember that true failure is not trying.