Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Seeing most people as inherently evil, thus creating a wall between me and them before I even meet or know them (and possibly fueling ego).
6/13/09-Hd1-L3-1G
I'm including another foil for reference sake:
Misguided Visual: A school bus full of noisy, boisterous obnoxious kids. It stops and the stop sign comes out with the red blinking lights. Some kids get off.
Again, not only did the above not seem to fit the situation (or only partially fit), but there was a distinct absence of positive feelings.
Genuine Visual: A black helicopter
Intention: To seek and destroy evil
Why? It wants a universe that has no evil – that is perfect – all is love. It must assume it is everywhere – until proven otherwise, lest any escape.
New Visual: A big, bright, beautiful, vivid, full spectrum rainbow
Meaning: Just as gloomy rain provides a medium for light to manifest its brilliance, so the darkness of "sin" provides a medium for the beauty of love to make itself vividly manifest. (e. g. the cross of Christ – one of the both darkest and brightest moments in history).
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: Became rocket spewing rainbow exhaust out its tail and whizzing around the universe, then a circular saw blade spitting a rainbow off its edges, then a floating glass ball, then a moon, then a predatory rainbow fish, then a wolf, squirrel, tornado, hot air balloon (which sprinkled out rainbow dust, then became rainbow colors, then became a rainbow with a bouncing castle in front of it, then a rainbow with musical notes bouncing in front of it, then finally a solid piece rainbow with cloud on either end and very distinct solid coloring. (5 minutes)
Complete? Yes
Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situations - “Darkness is an opportunity for light to shine through.” Yes. Q3,4: Yes (a little hesitance on “every day” until I visualized my days in the future and it helping me). Q5: The world is full of dark clouds and rain. Stop calling it evil. Call it an opportunity for light to make manifest its brilliance.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Fear of Giving Love
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Fear of giving love or showing love to people for fear of spending energy and effort on something that won't come back or be returned by them. I might run out! (1 Hd)
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-1G
I've noticed that while usually the images pop up quickly and make sense readily, there are times on occasion where the images just don't seem to fit the situation no matter how long I spend trying to see how they could. There is a distinct difference in how these act, however. First of all, they often feel forced, as if being pushed on me from the the outside, rather than me simply “seeing what is” on the inside. There is also a lack of positive feelings, and sometimes my ego may be involved. The images usually are simple images, with no movement, or little movement. I call these a “foil” and usually catch them immediately. The following one I didn't catch however until several minutes afterward. I have come to understand these as originating with unseen entities and beings that are seeking to thwart the process. I include this, along with my attempted explanation as an example of a foil. It is quite apparent that it doesn't fit the issue, particularly when compared with the genuine.
Misguided Visual: A person standing on a ladder. They slowly (after a long time) take a step up on run, then they go back down a rung.
Relation to issue: The person is afraid, they don't want to go to the top, nor do they want to go back down. They are paralyzed and useless (interestingly, how I felt while trying to conduct). In order for love to “move” there is some risk, going up and down the ladder.
6/13/09
Genuine Visual: A cloud in the sky – a rain cloud that is afraid to give off water, lest it run out and not get recharged. Maybe it should save its water for a really dry location and not expend it on a place that is already wet . . . how does it know? In limbo . . .
Intention: Conservation, adequate supply, self-preservation, maximum usage and appreciation, maximum effectiveness, sustainability.
New Visual: A heart beating different color/shades of red
Meaning: A heart both pumps and sucks an infinite supply of blood – it can never run out. Also, just like the body, the universe is a closed system, so nothing can ever be lost or “wasted”. It will always come back around eventually (though i may travel many miles and take possibly millennia to do so). Giving creates a vacancy for receiving that will always be filled.
Willing to transform? Yes. Result: Transformed.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: (a) Dwell on me. (b) When you meet people it is a question of how you can show them love, not if you will show them love.
Issue: Fear of giving love or showing love to people for fear of spending energy and effort on something that won't come back or be returned by them. I might run out! (1 Hd)
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-1G
I've noticed that while usually the images pop up quickly and make sense readily, there are times on occasion where the images just don't seem to fit the situation no matter how long I spend trying to see how they could. There is a distinct difference in how these act, however. First of all, they often feel forced, as if being pushed on me from the the outside, rather than me simply “seeing what is” on the inside. There is also a lack of positive feelings, and sometimes my ego may be involved. The images usually are simple images, with no movement, or little movement. I call these a “foil” and usually catch them immediately. The following one I didn't catch however until several minutes afterward. I have come to understand these as originating with unseen entities and beings that are seeking to thwart the process. I include this, along with my attempted explanation as an example of a foil. It is quite apparent that it doesn't fit the issue, particularly when compared with the genuine.
Misguided Visual: A person standing on a ladder. They slowly (after a long time) take a step up on run, then they go back down a rung.
Relation to issue: The person is afraid, they don't want to go to the top, nor do they want to go back down. They are paralyzed and useless (interestingly, how I felt while trying to conduct). In order for love to “move” there is some risk, going up and down the ladder.
6/13/09
Genuine Visual: A cloud in the sky – a rain cloud that is afraid to give off water, lest it run out and not get recharged. Maybe it should save its water for a really dry location and not expend it on a place that is already wet . . . how does it know? In limbo . . .
Intention: Conservation, adequate supply, self-preservation, maximum usage and appreciation, maximum effectiveness, sustainability.
New Visual: A heart beating different color/shades of red
Meaning: A heart both pumps and sucks an infinite supply of blood – it can never run out. Also, just like the body, the universe is a closed system, so nothing can ever be lost or “wasted”. It will always come back around eventually (though i may travel many miles and take possibly millennia to do so). Giving creates a vacancy for receiving that will always be filled.
Willing to transform? Yes. Result: Transformed.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: (a) Dwell on me. (b) When you meet people it is a question of how you can show them love, not if you will show them love.
Fear of Others Judgment
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Fear of others judgment (maybe due to personal judgmentalism), resulting in a defensive attitude upon meeting rather then an offensive love)
6/12/09-Hd-L3-1G
Graphic: A frowning, upset, angry Buddha
Intent: To inform of sin / wrong-doing
New Visual: A sad clown
Meaning: It's OK to feel sorrow for others actions, but over-identification with them i sboth out of place for you and not fitting with you you are, You're nature is the same, you will always be a clown! (and who is a clown to judge)(and does a clown fear judgment?) Voluntarily become the biggest food possible and people's insults will be weightless. Try to maintain a “God” status and you will have much defending to do. God has no ego to keep Him from playing a clown or a fool. In fact people love and listen to a clown more than a self-proclaimed prophet.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: It did and the clown turned out to be sorrowing over a flower which was perky but then wilted. A deep sense of concern and sorrow, as if it itself were suffering and dying. A tear welled up in its eye and dropped to the ground. Then it snapped out of it and began putting on its funny show.
Complete? Yes.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go be a fool!
Issue: Fear of others judgment (maybe due to personal judgmentalism), resulting in a defensive attitude upon meeting rather then an offensive love)
6/12/09-Hd-L3-1G
Graphic: A frowning, upset, angry Buddha
Intent: To inform of sin / wrong-doing
New Visual: A sad clown
Meaning: It's OK to feel sorrow for others actions, but over-identification with them i sboth out of place for you and not fitting with you you are, You're nature is the same, you will always be a clown! (and who is a clown to judge)(and does a clown fear judgment?) Voluntarily become the biggest food possible and people's insults will be weightless. Try to maintain a “God” status and you will have much defending to do. God has no ego to keep Him from playing a clown or a fool. In fact people love and listen to a clown more than a self-proclaimed prophet.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: It did and the clown turned out to be sorrowing over a flower which was perky but then wilted. A deep sense of concern and sorrow, as if it itself were suffering and dying. A tear welled up in its eye and dropped to the ground. Then it snapped out of it and began putting on its funny show.
Complete? Yes.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go be a fool!
Nagative View of Others
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Seeing other people as objects of destruction rather then immature beings of light
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: A stone face with a see through sword overlaying it.
Intention: Recognize sin / destructiveness, recognize the fallen nature of humanity, maintain high standards of how one “should be”.
So then, the real blockage is letting other people be “standard bearers” i. e. wanting to depend on them as the standard of right/wrong, thinking of them as the “law” (as symbolized by the stone).
New Visual: And early bicycle (the ones with a huge front wheel that you sat up high on), a man gets on rides it, then hits a bump and topples off.
Meaning: Humanity is evolving (like the bike) and is currently not in its most effective state. In fact, it is somewhat dangerous in this state. Nevertheless, this intermediary stage is necessary to reach an effective and safer state, which in the end is better then no process (the mature bike is an improvement on walking, though the first one invented (immature) may not have been).
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Give 'em a break
Issue: Seeing other people as objects of destruction rather then immature beings of light
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: A stone face with a see through sword overlaying it.
Intention: Recognize sin / destructiveness, recognize the fallen nature of humanity, maintain high standards of how one “should be”.
So then, the real blockage is letting other people be “standard bearers” i. e. wanting to depend on them as the standard of right/wrong, thinking of them as the “law” (as symbolized by the stone).
New Visual: And early bicycle (the ones with a huge front wheel that you sat up high on), a man gets on rides it, then hits a bump and topples off.
Meaning: Humanity is evolving (like the bike) and is currently not in its most effective state. In fact, it is somewhat dangerous in this state. Nevertheless, this intermediary stage is necessary to reach an effective and safer state, which in the end is better then no process (the mature bike is an improvement on walking, though the first one invented (immature) may not have been).
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Give 'em a break
Fear of Death
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Fear of death (1 Hd)
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-5G (m,m,m,m)
Visual: A skeleton key opens an iron gate, which swings open to reveal utter blackness and darkness (symbolizing the “other side”). A voice says “enter”. I approach with hesitancy and fear / apprehensiveness.
Intention: Self-existence, preservation
New Visual: A jack-o-lantern smiling with a light inside, which shines out. The light is supernatural and eternal.
Meaning: Though the pumpkin rot or get smashed, this is immaterial as the important part is preserved and indestructible. A new pumpkin can always be carved, though the light is always the same and the pumpkin is for the benefit of those looking from the outside, not for the benefit of the light. It is fun, but not necessary.
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Don't forget, YOU are the light in the pumpkin!
Issue: Fear of death (1 Hd)
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-5G (m,m,m,m)
Visual: A skeleton key opens an iron gate, which swings open to reveal utter blackness and darkness (symbolizing the “other side”). A voice says “enter”. I approach with hesitancy and fear / apprehensiveness.
Intention: Self-existence, preservation
New Visual: A jack-o-lantern smiling with a light inside, which shines out. The light is supernatural and eternal.
Meaning: Though the pumpkin rot or get smashed, this is immaterial as the important part is preserved and indestructible. A new pumpkin can always be carved, though the light is always the same and the pumpkin is for the benefit of those looking from the outside, not for the benefit of the light. It is fun, but not necessary.
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Don't forget, YOU are the light in the pumpkin!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Paranoia
This one I found quite interesting. I decided to do this for this person because they were stalking / monitoring me and I thought it might resolve the problem. As you read on, you will see why I was hesitant to continue the adjustment. In the end I decided that I wanted to do what was best for them, based on the idea that what helps one helps all.
Name: Cornville Resident (proxy)
Issue: Paranoia (28 Hd's) <----!!
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: One eye (with huge lashes) is always open and is bloodshot and has bags under it and is puffy and tired and miserable looking, but it must always stay open to “keep watch,” while the other eye is normal and looks fine, and sleeps and rests part time while functioning normal the rest of the time.
Intent: To protect, safety
New Visual: A tiger (which sleeps but no on wants to awaken – rather then a passive fear, it is aggressive toward threats such that the threats disappear)
Willing to transform? Yes (thanked it for efforts and let it know this was an upgrade)
Result: Eyes became tiger eyes, though one remained tired and blackened. It hopped around a bit, then leaped, then growled, then chased a bunch of animals off which fled, then lay down peacefully and closed its eyes, the dark one now healed and normal.
When I realized that there were 28 holodynes involved, I gave up the notion of this fixing the situation, but if this person had actually listened to the new holodyne, he would have come and addressed me specifically and realized that I was no threat to him rather then hiding in the shadows and watching me.
Name: Cornville Resident (proxy)
Issue: Paranoia (28 Hd's) <----!!
6/12/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: One eye (with huge lashes) is always open and is bloodshot and has bags under it and is puffy and tired and miserable looking, but it must always stay open to “keep watch,” while the other eye is normal and looks fine, and sleeps and rests part time while functioning normal the rest of the time.
Intent: To protect, safety
New Visual: A tiger (which sleeps but no on wants to awaken – rather then a passive fear, it is aggressive toward threats such that the threats disappear)
Willing to transform? Yes (thanked it for efforts and let it know this was an upgrade)
Result: Eyes became tiger eyes, though one remained tired and blackened. It hopped around a bit, then leaped, then growled, then chased a bunch of animals off which fled, then lay down peacefully and closed its eyes, the dark one now healed and normal.
When I realized that there were 28 holodynes involved, I gave up the notion of this fixing the situation, but if this person had actually listened to the new holodyne, he would have come and addressed me specifically and realized that I was no threat to him rather then hiding in the shadows and watching me.
Hot Flashes
Name: P.V. (proxy)
Issue: Hot flashes (5 Hd's)
6/11/09-Hd1-L4-1G
Visual: A wagon wheel, which is alone and still, standing then it rolls around as if searching and falls over and just lays there.
Intention: Needs cause and purpose, searching for one, needs connected to something else (like a wagon) to be able to serve. Can't find, gives up and falls over alone. No reason to exist. Useless.
Relation to issue: A way of getting attention, letting people know she exists, like a flashing sign outside a business.
New Visual: A donkey – can serve if it is needed, but is also happy to run around wild by itself and just enjoy life, if it isn't. It can have tremendous fun all be itself.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: Went through 25 minutes of transformations (with music*), mostly very rapid, trains, stage shows, animals, cartoon-type characters, show biz type stuff, some violence, all very showy, ending finally with a donkey. The donkey was very quite and tame, willing to help and serve humbly. When it was told it was not needed for a while, it sauntered off, nibbled some grass and went out of sight. Then it slapped its ass with its tale, wiggled its butt and started dancing. It was free!
* A first for me
Issue: Hot flashes (5 Hd's)
6/11/09-Hd1-L4-1G
Visual: A wagon wheel, which is alone and still, standing then it rolls around as if searching and falls over and just lays there.
Intention: Needs cause and purpose, searching for one, needs connected to something else (like a wagon) to be able to serve. Can't find, gives up and falls over alone. No reason to exist. Useless.
Relation to issue: A way of getting attention, letting people know she exists, like a flashing sign outside a business.
New Visual: A donkey – can serve if it is needed, but is also happy to run around wild by itself and just enjoy life, if it isn't. It can have tremendous fun all be itself.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: Went through 25 minutes of transformations (with music*), mostly very rapid, trains, stage shows, animals, cartoon-type characters, show biz type stuff, some violence, all very showy, ending finally with a donkey. The donkey was very quite and tame, willing to help and serve humbly. When it was told it was not needed for a while, it sauntered off, nibbled some grass and went out of sight. Then it slapped its ass with its tale, wiggled its butt and started dancing. It was free!
* A first for me
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