This was the first tracking since the seminar that I have actually facilitated where the person themselves did the visualizing and integration. While it took a little work, I sensed that the same thing was happening with them that was happening with me. While this is still only one person, I'm excited at the prospect of being able to help others learn to track and transform their own holodynes.
Name: D.V.
Issue: Liver weakness (5 Hds)
6/20/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: Yellow life raft, in life raft waiting for rescue
Intention: Safety
Relation: Non-movement, waiting for something
New Visual: Looking down into the water from the raft, mountains appear with snow on them. It continues to snow on them even though it is a sunny day. The water has disappeared and the raft is now evidently way up in the sky. The snow is seen as a negative that you are safe from.
Relation: Some issues are beyond control, you don't have to be upset about it, you can be at peace with it.
Transform? Yes.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Smile as you look down!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Weak Lungs - Part 2
After doing a substantial number of adjustments, I came to the realization that each transformation that occurred contained information that shaped itself to the performer, and that in fact the process of transforming was also a part of the integration process. Therefore, I decided to track the following holodynes but wanted to try letting the person themselves perform the transformation (and of course integration).
Name: D.V. (proxy)
Issue: Weak lungs
6/19/09-Hd2-L4-1G
Visual: A dolphin swimming through the water peacefully, with flashes of great big jaws, such as a great white shark, flashing in its mind, ever conscious of danger.
Relation: This ever present consciousness of danger could suppress the life forces, particularly paralyzing breathing.
Intent: Survival, caution, recognition of vulnerability, safety
New Visual: A wheel, spinning. It is moving very rapidly. It looks like a bike wheel but is connected to nothing. Though I sense it is connected and in fact enabling someone to go somewhere. After a time, someone tries to slow it down. They rub a stick on it. It does slow a little, but as soon as the stick is released, it picks up speed spinning again. This time, a hand tries slowing it down. Eventually, it comes to a stop in the firm grip. But the grip can't hold forever. It eventually releases and the wheel begins spinning again.
Relation: I sense that this wheel represents life, movement, and achievement. Issues may arise, but ultimately, they can't stop the process. Forward movement is eternal and can be slowed and hindered but never permanently stopped. Let the lungs reintroduce this life cycle and show them whose boss by deep, rhythmic an cyclical breathing.
Transformation: Incomplete
6/19/09-Hd3-L4-12G(d,d,d,d...)
Visual: A HUGE windmill, such as you might see in Holland, three stories high and as wide as a house. In fact, it may be one. The blades are turning on the great beast, turning, turning, then the wind dies a little and it slows a bit. The wind dies substantially and it just creaks along.
Intent: Movement, progress, achievement
Problem: Dependant on variable outside source
New Visual: A beautiful, shining red heart, it slowly turns in circles, showing off its completeness.
Relation: You are not the object being “done” but rather the object “doing”. You can achieve as little or as much as you want . . . There is an infinite supply of blood. You are the source.
Transform? Yes.
Result: Windmill spins fast, then comes off, doing loops around a tube now . . . Incomplete
Note: I haven't finished this one yet with this person. Will post an update if I do . . .
Name: D.V. (proxy)
Issue: Weak lungs
6/19/09-Hd2-L4-1G
Visual: A dolphin swimming through the water peacefully, with flashes of great big jaws, such as a great white shark, flashing in its mind, ever conscious of danger.
Relation: This ever present consciousness of danger could suppress the life forces, particularly paralyzing breathing.
Intent: Survival, caution, recognition of vulnerability, safety
New Visual: A wheel, spinning. It is moving very rapidly. It looks like a bike wheel but is connected to nothing. Though I sense it is connected and in fact enabling someone to go somewhere. After a time, someone tries to slow it down. They rub a stick on it. It does slow a little, but as soon as the stick is released, it picks up speed spinning again. This time, a hand tries slowing it down. Eventually, it comes to a stop in the firm grip. But the grip can't hold forever. It eventually releases and the wheel begins spinning again.
Relation: I sense that this wheel represents life, movement, and achievement. Issues may arise, but ultimately, they can't stop the process. Forward movement is eternal and can be slowed and hindered but never permanently stopped. Let the lungs reintroduce this life cycle and show them whose boss by deep, rhythmic an cyclical breathing.
Transformation: Incomplete
6/19/09-Hd3-L4-12G(d,d,d,d...)
Visual: A HUGE windmill, such as you might see in Holland, three stories high and as wide as a house. In fact, it may be one. The blades are turning on the great beast, turning, turning, then the wind dies a little and it slows a bit. The wind dies substantially and it just creaks along.
Intent: Movement, progress, achievement
Problem: Dependant on variable outside source
New Visual: A beautiful, shining red heart, it slowly turns in circles, showing off its completeness.
Relation: You are not the object being “done” but rather the object “doing”. You can achieve as little or as much as you want . . . There is an infinite supply of blood. You are the source.
Transform? Yes.
Result: Windmill spins fast, then comes off, doing loops around a tube now . . . Incomplete
Note: I haven't finished this one yet with this person. Will post an update if I do . . .
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Weak Lungs - Part 1
Name: D.V. (proxy)
Issue: Weak Lungs (3 Hd's)
6/13/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: A nose with big nostrils, which turns out to be on a dog which is using it to smell with and going all around sniffing (Pluto style). It discovers something dangerous and frightful, gets scared and decides it doesn't want to do any more sniffing ever again (bad experience). No more inhaling. The breathing process becomes arrested.
Intention: exploration, discovery, safety
New Visual: A ferris wheel
Significance: One is able to have a new experience, see the world differently, obtain new vistas, while observing from a secure position that is safe, being fastened to the seat behind a metal bar. The circular motion of the ferris wheel might represent the restored rhythm of the lungs – steady, fixed motion which allows exploration with safety.
Transform? Yes. Complete: Yes
Issue: Weak Lungs (3 Hd's)
6/13/09-Hd1-L3-1G
Visual: A nose with big nostrils, which turns out to be on a dog which is using it to smell with and going all around sniffing (Pluto style). It discovers something dangerous and frightful, gets scared and decides it doesn't want to do any more sniffing ever again (bad experience). No more inhaling. The breathing process becomes arrested.
Intention: exploration, discovery, safety
New Visual: A ferris wheel
Significance: One is able to have a new experience, see the world differently, obtain new vistas, while observing from a secure position that is safe, being fastened to the seat behind a metal bar. The circular motion of the ferris wheel might represent the restored rhythm of the lungs – steady, fixed motion which allows exploration with safety.
Transform? Yes. Complete: Yes
Weak Liver - Part 1
Name: D.V. (proxy)
Issue: Weak Liver (5 Hd's)
6/13/09-Hd1-L3-2G (m)
Visual: A banana is on the ground and it gets stepped on, squashing. Someone finds it and not wanting to waste it, scoops it up and lays it on the counter. It just sits there. It isn't eaten because, well, it's kind of messy and gross. Yet it can't be thrown out – it's still food. Fruit flies come and it rots, starting to stink. But it could be eaten to survive.
Intent: Not wasting, conservation, thrift, making sure needs are met.
New Visual: A child tasting food. Some foods it likes, some it spits all over the place. These may be perfectly good foods, but not what the child's body needs at the time. It may be wasteful, but the child's body and health are more important.
Note: Before the above visual, two other images came up, one of a merry-go-round, and one of a painter, neither of which seemed to “fit”. Then I “rang the bell” (explained below) and got this.
Discovery: Blocks to seeing / perceiving / sensing while tracking can be overcome by “ringing” the bell of love (it's word / thought / feeling / intent / consciousness) in the consciousness repeatedly while doing the tracking. This will clear out and drive away any hindrances that may present themselves. Also, re-emphasizing desire to remove blockage and maintaining a state of humility, supplication, dependency, and appreciation for assistance from guides (God/Goddess/Spirit, angels, other beings).
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Issue: Weak Liver (5 Hd's)
6/13/09-Hd1-L3-2G (m)
Visual: A banana is on the ground and it gets stepped on, squashing. Someone finds it and not wanting to waste it, scoops it up and lays it on the counter. It just sits there. It isn't eaten because, well, it's kind of messy and gross. Yet it can't be thrown out – it's still food. Fruit flies come and it rots, starting to stink. But it could be eaten to survive.
Intent: Not wasting, conservation, thrift, making sure needs are met.
New Visual: A child tasting food. Some foods it likes, some it spits all over the place. These may be perfectly good foods, but not what the child's body needs at the time. It may be wasteful, but the child's body and health are more important.
Note: Before the above visual, two other images came up, one of a merry-go-round, and one of a painter, neither of which seemed to “fit”. Then I “rang the bell” (explained below) and got this.
Discovery: Blocks to seeing / perceiving / sensing while tracking can be overcome by “ringing” the bell of love (it's word / thought / feeling / intent / consciousness) in the consciousness repeatedly while doing the tracking. This will clear out and drive away any hindrances that may present themselves. Also, re-emphasizing desire to remove blockage and maintaining a state of humility, supplication, dependency, and appreciation for assistance from guides (God/Goddess/Spirit, angels, other beings).
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Liver and Anger
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh and D.V.
Issue: Liver (related to anger / revenge) (15 Hd)
6/18-19/09-Hd4-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: Train on tracks runs out of coal out in the middle of nowhere and stops on the tracks. Another train comes along, derailing it and knocking it off the tracks as it goes, then keeps going. The engineer is pissed. Now both out of fuel and derailed. Particularly pissed at the other train. He wants revenge but won't get it because he has no way of finding who did it. He will simply be angry his whole life.
Intent: Protection (against the unkindness of others). Justification (in this case by shifting blame).
Relation to Liver: Liver is the center of metabolism. Life may offer some unpleasant realities which we refuse to accept (and would rather blame) or “metabolize”. These disempower us in that by not accepting responsibility for unpleasant outcomes, we are likely to see them repeat. We need to accept and process all that comes down the pipe. For after all, we swallowed it.
New Visual: A seal trying to balance a ball. After a time, it falls off and he catches it with his flipper, after many attempts with the same result, he tries balancing again and falls backward into a pool of water. He gets out and tries again.
Relation: Life is like a ball we try to balance. No one else is ultimately responsible besides us. We must accept full responsibility and full ownership for the outcome. We are certain to fail at times, but that is OK, it's a learning process, just go back at it again. We may even fall big time, but the worst thing that can happen is that our egos get drenched. Get back up! (BTW it's all just a circus! Don't take it too seriously!)
Transform? Yes.
Result: About one hour of many scenes, lastly a skeleton that wished to be evil. But it could find no acts of evil that it could commit sustainably and comfortably without it coming back and hurting itself in some way. It did many atrocious things, but whether killing off its servants (resulting in it having to do all the work now) or sneaking into homes and shooting children (resulting in increasingly stepped up security so it couldn't access them) or going to Africa and killing (resulting in having to live in the bush), none turned out to be sustainable. It gave up trying to be evil and took off a mask to reveal a person (above possibly a cathartic). Eventually it became the seal only this time, the ball stayed perfectly balanced, and in one spot, while the seal underneath moved back and forth, keeping it perfectly balanced. (1 hr +)
Note: The above took a substantial amount of time, but wasn't nearly as agonizing as the last “long” one. Possibly due to an adjusting. It would appear much like biking to Cottonwood – the very first trip is the hardest you will ever make!
Note 2: Interestingly, I no longer feel angry at a particular person (or anyone) anymore!
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Take 100% responsibility and you'll never have any one to blame!
Feelings: I'm free! No longer bound by anger and no longer a victim of anyone! No one controls me!!
Issue: Liver (related to anger / revenge) (15 Hd)
6/18-19/09-Hd4-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: Train on tracks runs out of coal out in the middle of nowhere and stops on the tracks. Another train comes along, derailing it and knocking it off the tracks as it goes, then keeps going. The engineer is pissed. Now both out of fuel and derailed. Particularly pissed at the other train. He wants revenge but won't get it because he has no way of finding who did it. He will simply be angry his whole life.
Intent: Protection (against the unkindness of others). Justification (in this case by shifting blame).
Relation to Liver: Liver is the center of metabolism. Life may offer some unpleasant realities which we refuse to accept (and would rather blame) or “metabolize”. These disempower us in that by not accepting responsibility for unpleasant outcomes, we are likely to see them repeat. We need to accept and process all that comes down the pipe. For after all, we swallowed it.
New Visual: A seal trying to balance a ball. After a time, it falls off and he catches it with his flipper, after many attempts with the same result, he tries balancing again and falls backward into a pool of water. He gets out and tries again.
Relation: Life is like a ball we try to balance. No one else is ultimately responsible besides us. We must accept full responsibility and full ownership for the outcome. We are certain to fail at times, but that is OK, it's a learning process, just go back at it again. We may even fall big time, but the worst thing that can happen is that our egos get drenched. Get back up! (BTW it's all just a circus! Don't take it too seriously!)
Transform? Yes.
Result: About one hour of many scenes, lastly a skeleton that wished to be evil. But it could find no acts of evil that it could commit sustainably and comfortably without it coming back and hurting itself in some way. It did many atrocious things, but whether killing off its servants (resulting in it having to do all the work now) or sneaking into homes and shooting children (resulting in increasingly stepped up security so it couldn't access them) or going to Africa and killing (resulting in having to live in the bush), none turned out to be sustainable. It gave up trying to be evil and took off a mask to reveal a person (above possibly a cathartic). Eventually it became the seal only this time, the ball stayed perfectly balanced, and in one spot, while the seal underneath moved back and forth, keeping it perfectly balanced. (1 hr +)
Note: The above took a substantial amount of time, but wasn't nearly as agonizing as the last “long” one. Possibly due to an adjusting. It would appear much like biking to Cottonwood – the very first trip is the hardest you will ever make!
Note 2: Interestingly, I no longer feel angry at a particular person (or anyone) anymore!
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Take 100% responsibility and you'll never have any one to blame!
Feelings: I'm free! No longer bound by anger and no longer a victim of anyone! No one controls me!!
Misconceptions of Food
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: The belief that I (and my body) require food to exist (7 Hd's)
6/14/09-Hd1-L2-28G(m,m,d,d...)
Visual: A train powered by coal, which is shoveled in to keep it going.
Intent: Work, progress, energization, service
New Visual: A miniature golf track having multiple holes on the first part which all connect underneath and come out the same hole on the other side. You get the same result, regardless of the hole you hit into.
Significance: There are multiple ways to achieve one end. There is no single track fueled by one source, but many tracks fueled by many sources (i. e. many “holes” into body through which nourishment can come, not just the mouth).
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: When “one” (way) enters your mind, replace with “multiple” (ways).
6/14/09-Hd2-L2-12G(d,m,d,m...)
Visual: I saw fins at first, then a diver with them that started swimming. They propelled him through the water. [supplemental info: the fins propelled the diver into shark infested waters, which chomped him up].
Significance: The diver thought it needed fins
Intent: Progress, movement, speed, effectiveness
New Visual: A man stands at a deli, looking at dishes and food items on display for sale. He points to a cookie, buys it, goes and sits down and after the first bit spits it out – it has gone bad. He returns and gets his money back, now sick to his stomach. (WARNING Hd)
Significance: Advertisement, popularity, market appeal, mass belief, and common perception don't ensure value. The masses are being slowly poisoned. What you think you need may not only be unnecessary, but to your detriment. Look inwardly to determine need, not outwardly. Seeking happiness and value from the outside will only result in disappointment. We already have everything we need.
Relation: You don't need food just because other people say so.
Transform? Yes. Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Every time you feel you must eat because the world says so, remember the guy who is puking.
6/14/09-Hd3-L2-14G(d,d,m,m...)
Visual: A hungry seagull scavenging for food, waiting until safe to collect
Intent: Survival, meeting its needs
New Visual: A jump rope being whorled around different ways (and jumped).
Meaning: We don't exist for ourselves, but for God. It is His responsibility to “power” us. We just surrender to the cause. He will take care of His “equipment”.
Transform? Yes. Complete? Not quite. The person jumping the rope hops out, yet the jump rope keeps spinning. The jump rope is powering itself!
Q1: Yes. Q2: “Hold still” (it comes and surrounds me). Q3,4: Yes. Q5: I'm here for you!
6/14/09-Hd4-L2-14G(m,m,d,d...)
Visual: A gentle little panda eating bamboo peacefully become a huge panda with ferocious teeth that growls.
Intent: To become strong and powerful
Relation: Food will make you strong (belief)
New Visual: A mask with a Pharaoh's mask made of gold, which spins off into the distance.
Meaning: The body (like the mask) only represents us, it is not us, and no matter how magnificent we make it, it will one day vanish. It is relatively insignificant in comparison to the us inside. Don't overvalue the external. Let go of it. Forget about it. Focus on who you really are! Let the body follow in the path blazed by the Spirit and not the Spirit follow the body.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Let God be your food.
6/14/09-Hd5-L2-3G(d,d)
Visual: A guy is being pulled on a wake board behind a boat. After several carves he hits the wake and attempts a flip, biffing it hard. The same thing repeats, attempting a different stunt. Then again.
Intent: Mastery, achievement, the top
Belief: Mastery requires many attempts and many failures, including much pain.
Relation: You cannot be an inediate without immense work and suffering.
New Visual: A beautiful gorgeous girl, the envy of all, who did nothing to be beautiful but was simply born that way.
Transform? Yes. Complete? Yes. Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Living without food is not a feat achieved but an inheritance discovered – you don't became an inediate, you are an indiate.
6/14/09-Hd6-L2-8G(d,m,d,d...)
Visual: An analog clock is ticking. A cockoo bird comes out at random: “cockoo . . . cockoo . . . cockoo,” and the clock ticks a bit and then it comes out again cockooing. It is not synchronized to the time.
Intent: To serve as an important signal
Why? For the well-being of the owner
Meaning: Hunger (the bird) is an indicator of need superseding all other indicators and criteria (the bird is always rights, regardless of what the clock says, i. e. even if I feel as though I have a lot of energy, or just ate, if I am hungry, I must need food!).
Representing: Allegiance to a single indicator
New Visual: An iron (warm), moving in a circular motion (ironing clothes).
Significance? Hunger signals are sometimes the product of an imperfect environment which has imposed (imprinted / wrinkled) itself upon us. These hunger signals, like wrinkles can be placed in the wrong spot and may need ironed out by reminding them that they are out of place. Let the iron of truth determine the creases and no the external environment.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: 23 minutes of craziness. Finally it settled into the form of the iron.
Q1-4: Yes (all quick and easy as if not necessary to ask – possibly already integrated during transformation).
Q5: (a) Iron out the creases of hunger with the truth (b) I will help you
Note: Some “false” images came to me from the outside (forced) during transformation (usually non-moving) but these were distinguishable from the true, of internal origin (gentle).
6/14/09-Hd7-L2-8G(d,m,d,d...)
Visual: HUGE yellow and orange daffodils and other flowers grow bigger, then zip by on the left side.
Intent: Growth and beauty, joy, life
Meaning: Enjoy wonderful things while you can because they will soon pass away. Goodness is transient, wonderful things temporary.
Relation: Your life is transient, you are a temporary mortal being. You are not eternal, you are no self-existent, great as you are, you will one day pass away.
Fundamental flaw: Identification with the body rather then the spirit, leading the spirit to take on the qualities of the body (death) rather then the body to take on the qualities of the spirit (life).
New Visual: A water wheel (with water pouring over it as it turns).
Meaning: Wheel = the self, Water=The life current (God), Turning=living
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Q1-4: Yes, Q5: I am here for you.
7/23/09 - Update: Immediately upon completion of these adjustments I did a four day fast, the longest I have ever done. While usually I will notice weight loss the first day (particularly since I'm so skinny and their isn't much to lose), I noticed no appreciable loss over all four days. For the three weeks following this tracking I averaged about 950 calories a day compared to the usual 1800 (again with no loss in weight or energy). I have since gone up just a bit from that, but my guess is that it is likely due to the fact that I am surrounded by others that are constantly eating. I notice that I am very affected by other people. This is a holodyne I need to work on . . .
Issue: The belief that I (and my body) require food to exist (7 Hd's)
6/14/09-Hd1-L2-28G(m,m,d,d...)
Visual: A train powered by coal, which is shoveled in to keep it going.
Intent: Work, progress, energization, service
New Visual: A miniature golf track having multiple holes on the first part which all connect underneath and come out the same hole on the other side. You get the same result, regardless of the hole you hit into.
Significance: There are multiple ways to achieve one end. There is no single track fueled by one source, but many tracks fueled by many sources (i. e. many “holes” into body through which nourishment can come, not just the mouth).
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: When “one” (way) enters your mind, replace with “multiple” (ways).
6/14/09-Hd2-L2-12G(d,m,d,m...)
Visual: I saw fins at first, then a diver with them that started swimming. They propelled him through the water. [supplemental info: the fins propelled the diver into shark infested waters, which chomped him up].
Significance: The diver thought it needed fins
Intent: Progress, movement, speed, effectiveness
New Visual: A man stands at a deli, looking at dishes and food items on display for sale. He points to a cookie, buys it, goes and sits down and after the first bit spits it out – it has gone bad. He returns and gets his money back, now sick to his stomach. (WARNING Hd)
Significance: Advertisement, popularity, market appeal, mass belief, and common perception don't ensure value. The masses are being slowly poisoned. What you think you need may not only be unnecessary, but to your detriment. Look inwardly to determine need, not outwardly. Seeking happiness and value from the outside will only result in disappointment. We already have everything we need.
Relation: You don't need food just because other people say so.
Transform? Yes. Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Every time you feel you must eat because the world says so, remember the guy who is puking.
6/14/09-Hd3-L2-14G(d,d,m,m...)
Visual: A hungry seagull scavenging for food, waiting until safe to collect
Intent: Survival, meeting its needs
New Visual: A jump rope being whorled around different ways (and jumped).
Meaning: We don't exist for ourselves, but for God. It is His responsibility to “power” us. We just surrender to the cause. He will take care of His “equipment”.
Transform? Yes. Complete? Not quite. The person jumping the rope hops out, yet the jump rope keeps spinning. The jump rope is powering itself!
Q1: Yes. Q2: “Hold still” (it comes and surrounds me). Q3,4: Yes. Q5: I'm here for you!
6/14/09-Hd4-L2-14G(m,m,d,d...)
Visual: A gentle little panda eating bamboo peacefully become a huge panda with ferocious teeth that growls.
Intent: To become strong and powerful
Relation: Food will make you strong (belief)
New Visual: A mask with a Pharaoh's mask made of gold, which spins off into the distance.
Meaning: The body (like the mask) only represents us, it is not us, and no matter how magnificent we make it, it will one day vanish. It is relatively insignificant in comparison to the us inside. Don't overvalue the external. Let go of it. Forget about it. Focus on who you really are! Let the body follow in the path blazed by the Spirit and not the Spirit follow the body.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Let God be your food.
6/14/09-Hd5-L2-3G(d,d)
Visual: A guy is being pulled on a wake board behind a boat. After several carves he hits the wake and attempts a flip, biffing it hard. The same thing repeats, attempting a different stunt. Then again.
Intent: Mastery, achievement, the top
Belief: Mastery requires many attempts and many failures, including much pain.
Relation: You cannot be an inediate without immense work and suffering.
New Visual: A beautiful gorgeous girl, the envy of all, who did nothing to be beautiful but was simply born that way.
Transform? Yes. Complete? Yes. Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Living without food is not a feat achieved but an inheritance discovered – you don't became an inediate, you are an indiate.
6/14/09-Hd6-L2-8G(d,m,d,d...)
Visual: An analog clock is ticking. A cockoo bird comes out at random: “cockoo . . . cockoo . . . cockoo,” and the clock ticks a bit and then it comes out again cockooing. It is not synchronized to the time.
Intent: To serve as an important signal
Why? For the well-being of the owner
Meaning: Hunger (the bird) is an indicator of need superseding all other indicators and criteria (the bird is always rights, regardless of what the clock says, i. e. even if I feel as though I have a lot of energy, or just ate, if I am hungry, I must need food!).
Representing: Allegiance to a single indicator
New Visual: An iron (warm), moving in a circular motion (ironing clothes).
Significance? Hunger signals are sometimes the product of an imperfect environment which has imposed (imprinted / wrinkled) itself upon us. These hunger signals, like wrinkles can be placed in the wrong spot and may need ironed out by reminding them that they are out of place. Let the iron of truth determine the creases and no the external environment.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: 23 minutes of craziness. Finally it settled into the form of the iron.
Q1-4: Yes (all quick and easy as if not necessary to ask – possibly already integrated during transformation).
Q5: (a) Iron out the creases of hunger with the truth (b) I will help you
Note: Some “false” images came to me from the outside (forced) during transformation (usually non-moving) but these were distinguishable from the true, of internal origin (gentle).
6/14/09-Hd7-L2-8G(d,m,d,d...)
Visual: HUGE yellow and orange daffodils and other flowers grow bigger, then zip by on the left side.
Intent: Growth and beauty, joy, life
Meaning: Enjoy wonderful things while you can because they will soon pass away. Goodness is transient, wonderful things temporary.
Relation: Your life is transient, you are a temporary mortal being. You are not eternal, you are no self-existent, great as you are, you will one day pass away.
Fundamental flaw: Identification with the body rather then the spirit, leading the spirit to take on the qualities of the body (death) rather then the body to take on the qualities of the spirit (life).
New Visual: A water wheel (with water pouring over it as it turns).
Meaning: Wheel = the self, Water=The life current (God), Turning=living
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes
Q1-4: Yes, Q5: I am here for you.
7/23/09 - Update: Immediately upon completion of these adjustments I did a four day fast, the longest I have ever done. While usually I will notice weight loss the first day (particularly since I'm so skinny and their isn't much to lose), I noticed no appreciable loss over all four days. For the three weeks following this tracking I averaged about 950 calories a day compared to the usual 1800 (again with no loss in weight or energy). I have since gone up just a bit from that, but my guess is that it is likely due to the fact that I am surrounded by others that are constantly eating. I notice that I am very affected by other people. This is a holodyne I need to work on . . .
Requireing Lots of Sleep
Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Requiring lots (9 hrs.) of sleep (8 Hd's)
6/17/09-Hd1-L2-5G(d,m,d,m)
Visual: A boat (that looks like a small Ark)
Intention: Safety, protection
Significance: Sleep may be my escape from the world, a barrier to the outside that I can hide in. For nine whole hours the “outside” cannot touch me.
New Visual: A saw blade which spins and as it does, becomes a harmless snow flake, which gently lands on the ground.
Meaning: The world is harmless. It may have the appearance of danger, but in reality, it is but a gentle snowflake!
Transform? “I guess so”
Result: Ark sprouted toddler legs (symbolic of my youth?), got up and walked, then became toddler which jumped rope (freedom?) which became a hand which reached up and grabbed something very high up (chocolate easter egg) and put it in its mouth (treats were kept up on the fridge out of reach, symbolic of a world which kept good things from me? A world which limited my happiness?). After eating, became a huge smile, a mature man in an 1800's suit coat, stomping in pleasure, which freezes (plastic like), shrinks and disappears on horizon. Comes back as a big sunshine with a toothy grin (missing one) then it matures and adds sunglasses and becomes orange with a great satisfied smile, then it spins, becoming a kaleidescope of colors (largely orange) and shapes, fireworks go off, a big mushroom with a red top comes on the scene, 30 ft. tall, which shoots out spirals which become a galaxy, which flips to become a white ball (of tape), which all kinds of cartoon insects pop out of, more stuff, Ark with child again which spins and becomes saw blade which starts spinning around the inside of a pipe, I end up on top of it going in circles within circles, now reverse, they “pop” into separate pieces, then dissolve into a blank screen which becomes a circular saw blade whizzing at top speed, industrial like size (10 ft.), not something to mess with this is powerful! Becomes star shape, begins to float, flips horizontal and drifts back and forth to ground. Upon touching, goes “boink” and becomes a harmless little snowflake. (7 minutes)
Complete? Yes
Q1: No response (can't communicate, is inanimate and harmless). Sensed a yes.
Q2-4: Same as above. Q5: Remember, they are but fragile snow flakes! All of them! Assignments: Remember.
6/17/09-Hd2-L2-5G(d,m,d,m)
Visual: A ferris wheel
Feeling: A little uneasiness, is this safe? Could these come off? (I mainly get on because everyone else is – largely how I view / viewed life, which after the first few rounds gets boring. No compelling attraction – slow and repetitive)
Intention: To enjoy the experience, but safely
Relation: Uneasiness with life, escape from that by sleeping . . . (possibly a reason I was so particular in making my bed when younger – held in high regard)
New Visual: A 5 inch blade knife with a good bulky handle, gleaming and glistening sharp.
Meaning: Nothing is inherently unsafe in life, but rather, your own actions determine how things play out . . . (A knife can safely be used for cutting veggies or it can be used to kill someone)
Transform? Yes
***Revelation: Many events in life can embed themselves in a holodyne, reinforcing it. The transformation process unravels these events and unpacks them, letting them express themselves on the way in order to allow new interpretation and expression at the holodynamic level. These are largely what you “see” or are symbolic of these events and impressions – thus not necessarily consciously (or logically) understood, yet making the necessary subconscious impression (i. e. reprogramming).***
Result: Saw among many things cartoons of Tom and Jerry at “Grandma” Dawses house and Tweety and Silvester and Bugs and Fudd, more then I see myself listen to mom and dad then after sensing a small tension, run into my room and jump on my bed – MY bed and place of safety and comfort. It is soft and offers its leisureness. There are monsters under it. Maybe I should sleep till mom and dad are awake to ensure protection. I don't want to get out of bed with them under there. I love sleep, I can escape to a world of my own making. Maybe I will go to Disney Land! Maybe I will see Mickey Mouse! I don't like school. The sooner I wake up, the sooner I have to think about going! I'd rather sleep all day. (why don't I like school? I sit all day at a desk indoors, surrounded by kids that I don't really like and that don't really like me, studying subjects that to me are largely worthless and irrelevant. I'm not free, I'm a prisoner. My own choices and wishes are not respected. I'm considered an inferior to adults who tell me what do to, even though my ability to observe and sense the nature of reality is equal to theirs.) Again, visions of me on my bed dreaming from childhood even day-dreaming. My place to escape to imagination. My place to create the world I wanted. Pictures of being pulled under water and held under (water park?), riding a bike to escape danger, a giant (like Jack and the Bean Stalk) chasing and trying to squash me, then they turn, and after getting punched I become a kind of Rambo (though not killing, then saw mouse (Jerry) who is invincible, pictures of someone marching up plank of ship (from Greece?), somebody throws stuff over board, goes and sleeps, has visions of beautiful country (Greece?). G. afraid of dad, can't be bothered when asleep (pretends), more, more . . . . . . . Knife after being violently thrown into ground (multiple times) ends up finally tucked into a drawer beside a bed, safely enclosed, but not out of reach. (1 Hr. 50 Minutes!!!!!)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Don't be afraid to live – you determine the outcome!
Revelation: Better to transform immature holodynes that are creating problems then dwell on mature ones that counteract them. The former is a one time process, whereas the latter is eternal!
6/17/09-Hd3-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A sewing machine (running and threading clothing)
Perspective: A negative view, industries, but dangerous
Intent: Safety, non-attachment to danger
Significance: A world view – the world might get a lot done, but it is still dangerous. Better to not take par and retreat to something unproductive, but safe (sleep).
New Visual: A starfish
Significance: A starfish rests safely, but within that safe resting place still performs all the necessary activities.
Transform? Yes
Result: Many things . . . beavers being shot by loggers, Bill Cosby conversion with Claire about marriage (he didn't want to) and finally a star fish! (5 min)
Q1: Yes. Q2: (a) Old situation – Remind in mornings that I can be safe in my own little world and be productive – waking up to the world of my making. (b) Become one? - “What does that mean?” That you give me your perspective and remind me that I can be both safe and productive. I let go of “danger” as a reason for not awakening early. I let the image of you rest in my subconscious. I let go of the idea of resting occurring only during sleep to something that includes an attitude that pervades the whole life – night and day. Q3,4: Yes. Q5: Work and rest are one!
6/18/09-Hd4-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A dump truck tilts its bed, unloading a big load of gravel
Intention: Releasing a burden
Relation: Using sleep as a means of dumping and forgetting cares, concerns, worries, problems – a release.
New Visual: A fisherman is lazily out fishing and gets a catch. He reels it in and takes a look – not the fish he's trying to catch. He tosses it out and tries again.
Meaning: You don't have to carry any burden you don't want to. Pick the ones you want and consciously toss the rest back. You are in control.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: Many stages finally resulting in solitary fisher, catching some, tossing others back. Laid back on the grass with a straw hat and a straw in his mouth, waiting for the line to show something. Says “hey partner, this is the easy life!” (8 min)
Q1: Course man! You betcha! Q2: Yes. Q3: Does it involve work? :) You just come look at me and you'll know the answer! Sure. Q4: Oh yeah! No more stressin! You just toss back what you don't want! Q5: What you worrin' about? Toss those worries right back upon the person that gave them to ya!
Assignment: Any time you have a problem, I don't want you going to sleep till you've “tossed it back”!
6/18/09-Hd5-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A steamship billowing along
Intent: Service, carry passengers, but with effort
Understanding? Service is important, but takes great effort. Take a break every once in a while – you deserve it! (a little nap will recharge you for the duties ahead!)
New Visual: A race car, hitting pit stops just long enough to get the critical needs met, but not wanting to waste a second more, lest in the process, it not achieve its ultimate goal.
Transform? Yes
Result: Did so very quickly (10 seconds)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: “Not really – You know what you need to do . . .” Assignments: “Hop on the car and watch me ride!!”
6/18/09-Hd6-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A grasshopper (not moving)
Intention: Contentedness (yet a bit lazy)
New Visual: A wood-pecker
Significance: Very peaceful and content, no worries or cares, yet working non-stop all the while . . . Peck peck . . . peck peck peck peck
Transform? “Do you think I can?” Yes just be willing. Transformed.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Be productive – it will give you contentment!
Assignment: Go to the store, be productive and remember me along the way!
Realization: If I could be content while working (like the wood-pecker) maybe I'd be willing to work more!
6/18/09-Hd5-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A rubber duck, floating and bobbing in water
Intent: Peace, restfulness, easygoingness
Relation: Go with the flow, wherever your feeling take you (the water). Let your feeling guide life.
Problem: Feelings are often determined by circumstances which are the result of our actions, therefore, action can determine feelings. If we want right feelings we must act objectively apart from them – otherwise, we could act wrong, resulting in bad feelings, which are worse then the “good” feeling we initially based our decision on.
New Visual: A cowboy riding a horse. He's in the middle of a gun fight. As he rides and shoots, his hat falls off. His favorite hat. Oh how he loves that hat. He jumps off to get it and as he does, his horse runs away. Gone forever. He would have felt terrible to lose that hat but not as terrible as he now feels about losing his horse! Now he has to fight without it! But he's learned a valuable lesson! (WARNING Hd)
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Remember what's most important (and it's not always your present feelings) and you will feel the best overall that you possibly can!
6/18/09-Hd8-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A US flag is playing with fire (a flame). It jumps over it once, untouched, but the second time catches fire and is partly (25%) burned.
Understanding: The majority of people take unnecessary and dangerous risks. They may get away with them sometimes, but not always. Better to play it safe.
Relation to sleep: Anytime you are awake, your risk factor goes up. Living is a risk. Minimize it by sleeping.
New Visual: A parrot. It flies a little, then rests, flies a little, then rests again, always on the lookout, but enjoying itself all the while.
Significance: Most danger is avoidable if one pays attention, and the pleasure to be gained is worth the minuscule risk (and effort).
Transform? Yes. Complete.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go on, go on, go on . . .
7/23/09 - Update: Immediately after this tracking, I found myself needing only six hours of sleep (as opposed to the usual 9-10). The affect seemed to fade somewhat, however, with time. I'm not sure if it simply wasn't integrated thoroughly or other factors have come to play as I am surrounded by other people's circadian rhythms which could be affecting me. I still need substantially less sleep then I used to need (1-2 hours less). I suspect there are multiple factors at play here. I will post as new insight and information comes.
Issue: Requiring lots (9 hrs.) of sleep (8 Hd's)
6/17/09-Hd1-L2-5G(d,m,d,m)
Visual: A boat (that looks like a small Ark)
Intention: Safety, protection
Significance: Sleep may be my escape from the world, a barrier to the outside that I can hide in. For nine whole hours the “outside” cannot touch me.
New Visual: A saw blade which spins and as it does, becomes a harmless snow flake, which gently lands on the ground.
Meaning: The world is harmless. It may have the appearance of danger, but in reality, it is but a gentle snowflake!
Transform? “I guess so”
Result: Ark sprouted toddler legs (symbolic of my youth?), got up and walked, then became toddler which jumped rope (freedom?) which became a hand which reached up and grabbed something very high up (chocolate easter egg) and put it in its mouth (treats were kept up on the fridge out of reach, symbolic of a world which kept good things from me? A world which limited my happiness?). After eating, became a huge smile, a mature man in an 1800's suit coat, stomping in pleasure, which freezes (plastic like), shrinks and disappears on horizon. Comes back as a big sunshine with a toothy grin (missing one) then it matures and adds sunglasses and becomes orange with a great satisfied smile, then it spins, becoming a kaleidescope of colors (largely orange) and shapes, fireworks go off, a big mushroom with a red top comes on the scene, 30 ft. tall, which shoots out spirals which become a galaxy, which flips to become a white ball (of tape), which all kinds of cartoon insects pop out of, more stuff, Ark with child again which spins and becomes saw blade which starts spinning around the inside of a pipe, I end up on top of it going in circles within circles, now reverse, they “pop” into separate pieces, then dissolve into a blank screen which becomes a circular saw blade whizzing at top speed, industrial like size (10 ft.), not something to mess with this is powerful! Becomes star shape, begins to float, flips horizontal and drifts back and forth to ground. Upon touching, goes “boink” and becomes a harmless little snowflake. (7 minutes)
Complete? Yes
Q1: No response (can't communicate, is inanimate and harmless). Sensed a yes.
Q2-4: Same as above. Q5: Remember, they are but fragile snow flakes! All of them! Assignments: Remember.
6/17/09-Hd2-L2-5G(d,m,d,m)
Visual: A ferris wheel
Feeling: A little uneasiness, is this safe? Could these come off? (I mainly get on because everyone else is – largely how I view / viewed life, which after the first few rounds gets boring. No compelling attraction – slow and repetitive)
Intention: To enjoy the experience, but safely
Relation: Uneasiness with life, escape from that by sleeping . . . (possibly a reason I was so particular in making my bed when younger – held in high regard)
New Visual: A 5 inch blade knife with a good bulky handle, gleaming and glistening sharp.
Meaning: Nothing is inherently unsafe in life, but rather, your own actions determine how things play out . . . (A knife can safely be used for cutting veggies or it can be used to kill someone)
Transform? Yes
***Revelation: Many events in life can embed themselves in a holodyne, reinforcing it. The transformation process unravels these events and unpacks them, letting them express themselves on the way in order to allow new interpretation and expression at the holodynamic level. These are largely what you “see” or are symbolic of these events and impressions – thus not necessarily consciously (or logically) understood, yet making the necessary subconscious impression (i. e. reprogramming).***
Result: Saw among many things cartoons of Tom and Jerry at “Grandma” Dawses house and Tweety and Silvester and Bugs and Fudd, more then I see myself listen to mom and dad then after sensing a small tension, run into my room and jump on my bed – MY bed and place of safety and comfort. It is soft and offers its leisureness. There are monsters under it. Maybe I should sleep till mom and dad are awake to ensure protection. I don't want to get out of bed with them under there. I love sleep, I can escape to a world of my own making. Maybe I will go to Disney Land! Maybe I will see Mickey Mouse! I don't like school. The sooner I wake up, the sooner I have to think about going! I'd rather sleep all day. (why don't I like school? I sit all day at a desk indoors, surrounded by kids that I don't really like and that don't really like me, studying subjects that to me are largely worthless and irrelevant. I'm not free, I'm a prisoner. My own choices and wishes are not respected. I'm considered an inferior to adults who tell me what do to, even though my ability to observe and sense the nature of reality is equal to theirs.) Again, visions of me on my bed dreaming from childhood even day-dreaming. My place to escape to imagination. My place to create the world I wanted. Pictures of being pulled under water and held under (water park?), riding a bike to escape danger, a giant (like Jack and the Bean Stalk) chasing and trying to squash me, then they turn, and after getting punched I become a kind of Rambo (though not killing, then saw mouse (Jerry) who is invincible, pictures of someone marching up plank of ship (from Greece?), somebody throws stuff over board, goes and sleeps, has visions of beautiful country (Greece?). G. afraid of dad, can't be bothered when asleep (pretends), more, more . . . . . . . Knife after being violently thrown into ground (multiple times) ends up finally tucked into a drawer beside a bed, safely enclosed, but not out of reach. (1 Hr. 50 Minutes!!!!!)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Don't be afraid to live – you determine the outcome!
Revelation: Better to transform immature holodynes that are creating problems then dwell on mature ones that counteract them. The former is a one time process, whereas the latter is eternal!
6/17/09-Hd3-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A sewing machine (running and threading clothing)
Perspective: A negative view, industries, but dangerous
Intent: Safety, non-attachment to danger
Significance: A world view – the world might get a lot done, but it is still dangerous. Better to not take par and retreat to something unproductive, but safe (sleep).
New Visual: A starfish
Significance: A starfish rests safely, but within that safe resting place still performs all the necessary activities.
Transform? Yes
Result: Many things . . . beavers being shot by loggers, Bill Cosby conversion with Claire about marriage (he didn't want to) and finally a star fish! (5 min)
Q1: Yes. Q2: (a) Old situation – Remind in mornings that I can be safe in my own little world and be productive – waking up to the world of my making. (b) Become one? - “What does that mean?” That you give me your perspective and remind me that I can be both safe and productive. I let go of “danger” as a reason for not awakening early. I let the image of you rest in my subconscious. I let go of the idea of resting occurring only during sleep to something that includes an attitude that pervades the whole life – night and day. Q3,4: Yes. Q5: Work and rest are one!
6/18/09-Hd4-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A dump truck tilts its bed, unloading a big load of gravel
Intention: Releasing a burden
Relation: Using sleep as a means of dumping and forgetting cares, concerns, worries, problems – a release.
New Visual: A fisherman is lazily out fishing and gets a catch. He reels it in and takes a look – not the fish he's trying to catch. He tosses it out and tries again.
Meaning: You don't have to carry any burden you don't want to. Pick the ones you want and consciously toss the rest back. You are in control.
Willing to transform? Yes
Result: Many stages finally resulting in solitary fisher, catching some, tossing others back. Laid back on the grass with a straw hat and a straw in his mouth, waiting for the line to show something. Says “hey partner, this is the easy life!” (8 min)
Q1: Course man! You betcha! Q2: Yes. Q3: Does it involve work? :) You just come look at me and you'll know the answer! Sure. Q4: Oh yeah! No more stressin! You just toss back what you don't want! Q5: What you worrin' about? Toss those worries right back upon the person that gave them to ya!
Assignment: Any time you have a problem, I don't want you going to sleep till you've “tossed it back”!
6/18/09-Hd5-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A steamship billowing along
Intent: Service, carry passengers, but with effort
Understanding? Service is important, but takes great effort. Take a break every once in a while – you deserve it! (a little nap will recharge you for the duties ahead!)
New Visual: A race car, hitting pit stops just long enough to get the critical needs met, but not wanting to waste a second more, lest in the process, it not achieve its ultimate goal.
Transform? Yes
Result: Did so very quickly (10 seconds)
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: “Not really – You know what you need to do . . .” Assignments: “Hop on the car and watch me ride!!”
6/18/09-Hd6-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A grasshopper (not moving)
Intention: Contentedness (yet a bit lazy)
New Visual: A wood-pecker
Significance: Very peaceful and content, no worries or cares, yet working non-stop all the while . . . Peck peck . . . peck peck peck peck
Transform? “Do you think I can?” Yes just be willing. Transformed.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Be productive – it will give you contentment!
Assignment: Go to the store, be productive and remember me along the way!
Realization: If I could be content while working (like the wood-pecker) maybe I'd be willing to work more!
6/18/09-Hd5-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A rubber duck, floating and bobbing in water
Intent: Peace, restfulness, easygoingness
Relation: Go with the flow, wherever your feeling take you (the water). Let your feeling guide life.
Problem: Feelings are often determined by circumstances which are the result of our actions, therefore, action can determine feelings. If we want right feelings we must act objectively apart from them – otherwise, we could act wrong, resulting in bad feelings, which are worse then the “good” feeling we initially based our decision on.
New Visual: A cowboy riding a horse. He's in the middle of a gun fight. As he rides and shoots, his hat falls off. His favorite hat. Oh how he loves that hat. He jumps off to get it and as he does, his horse runs away. Gone forever. He would have felt terrible to lose that hat but not as terrible as he now feels about losing his horse! Now he has to fight without it! But he's learned a valuable lesson! (WARNING Hd)
Willing to transform? Yes. Complete? Yes.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Remember what's most important (and it's not always your present feelings) and you will feel the best overall that you possibly can!
6/18/09-Hd8-L2-3G(d,m)
Visual: A US flag is playing with fire (a flame). It jumps over it once, untouched, but the second time catches fire and is partly (25%) burned.
Understanding: The majority of people take unnecessary and dangerous risks. They may get away with them sometimes, but not always. Better to play it safe.
Relation to sleep: Anytime you are awake, your risk factor goes up. Living is a risk. Minimize it by sleeping.
New Visual: A parrot. It flies a little, then rests, flies a little, then rests again, always on the lookout, but enjoying itself all the while.
Significance: Most danger is avoidable if one pays attention, and the pleasure to be gained is worth the minuscule risk (and effort).
Transform? Yes. Complete.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Go on, go on, go on . . .
7/23/09 - Update: Immediately after this tracking, I found myself needing only six hours of sleep (as opposed to the usual 9-10). The affect seemed to fade somewhat, however, with time. I'm not sure if it simply wasn't integrated thoroughly or other factors have come to play as I am surrounded by other people's circadian rhythms which could be affecting me. I still need substantially less sleep then I used to need (1-2 hours less). I suspect there are multiple factors at play here. I will post as new insight and information comes.
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