Scowl

I noticed the affect of this one immediately, and have had no deep permanent scowl since.

Name: Ryan Van Denburgh
Issue: Scowl (4 Hd's)

6/6/09
Hd1-L3-1G

Visual: A golf club which is anticipating to swing, and aiming, and hoping and concerned (yet not actually hitting the ball)
Intention: To hit the ball perfectly
Why? It is concerned about what others think. It wants to be well thought of.
Why? It is insecure in its identity. It identifies itself largely with outside performance.
Why? It has forgotton its inward identity – True Self.

New Visual: An underwater missile cruising carelessly and peacefully through the water (it doesn't care where it goes, nothing will want to touch or disturb it, very powerful). Outwardly calm, inwardly potent. Perfect already!!
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: Dwell on me for 1 hr.


Hd2-L3-1G

Visual: Blue hard plastic tennis racket / paddle
Action: Effort, trying, doing its best not to miss the ball, concerned about judgment, running hither and thither as though if it misses the world will fall apart. Tension and stress.
What does it want? Success
Why? To both be accepted and so it can feel good about itself – it has achieved something.

New Visual: A starfish (red)
About: It is content in itself, it just simply is, whether seen and admired by others or not, it will just be itself, beautiful and at peace. It is very happy with itself, with no desire or need to become something different. It need not go anywhere or do anything. Everything necessary comes to it.
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: BE


Hd3-L3.5-1G

Visual: Baseball and bat
Intension: Respect, success
About: Tension, trying to hit ball, pressure – everyone watching, stress, as if salvation was dependent on it.

New Visual: Eel swimming through ocean peacefully and gracefully, no care or concern.
Transform? Yes
Action: Bat becomes aggressive and doesn't want to change, but surrounded with love and let it know that the eel possessed everything it wanted (us as respect – only it possessed it, it needn't need to prove it or earn it). Became eel, aggressive at first, but once it realized it didn't need to prove itself to anyone, simply being an eel was all anough, it was content and became peaceful.

Q1: Yes. Q2: Old situation baseball batting – It steps to the plate and hits the ball based on who and what it is – it doesn't care what that is – it is there ony to express itself and the best of what who it is, the result is irrelevant. Who it is cannot be changed so why stress about it? If that ends up being a pop fly, a bunt, or a strike out, so be it. It will make the game more interesting, and that's what people care about, not a home run from every player every hit every game (i. e. boring).
Q1-4: Yes. Q5: I gotchyo back man

Hd4-L4-1G
Visual: Thunderstorm, electric storm, lightning
Meaning: Massive conflict, tension, upsetness, anger, stress, largely unseen energies colliding and conflicting.
Intention: To express itself, make itself known – doing so creates outward conflict, not doing so creates inward conflict.
Why does it want to express itself? For validation
More effective: self-validation (or God validation)

New Visual: A big plump juicy red tomato. HUUUGE
Transform? It is thundering that self recognition is not enough, it wants recognition from the world.
Why? “To confirm and affirm who I am”
So then you don't know who you are . . .
“I am intense, powerful, fair, just, responsible, peace-loving, intelligent, righteousness loving, sin hating, striver for excellence, achieving”
Willing to stand before God and base eternity on fact? “Yes”
Did so. God affirmed.
Tried to become tomato, entered, then exploded out (shattering tomato)
“God cannot limit Himself to a tomato!”
So then you want to express all those attributes as well?
“Yes”
Why? “Because I love them and want them to live. They are not alive if they do not express themselves.
Are these not eternal qualities? Can they die?
"Yes. No."
Then what does it matter? “People need to see them."
Should they be forced upon them? "No"
When should they see them? "When they want to and are ready"
Can you then be content to contain yourself till that time? (a true sign of strength and self-control) "Yes"
Then you are willing to become a tomato?
"Yes"

Result: Becomes tomato, lightening and storm sucks itself into it. Internal anxiety. Decides it would be happier to let go of thunder and lightening desires and just be a simple tomato. The biggest and best tasting ever.

Q1-4: Yes, Q5: I'm here for you, always